Don't care anymore

[change is possible]

I have thought about it and i decided i don't want to recover. Why the hell should i? I can stop this bulimia anytime. I don't give a fuck anymore if i die. I dont have a reason to keep living. It hurts me that when i tried asking for help noone was ever there to listen. They never acted like they cared if i died from bulimia. If noone else cares why the hell should i? Goodbye.:cry:sad:mad:sad:cry:cry:cry:cry:cry

[daisychain]

i hear you hun, because I am in the same position. I feel so tired and feel like giving up also. I hear how you feel and I hear where you are at. I hear your desperation, your anger, your pain. I hear it because I feel the same way. I know you feel like giving up, but you deserve to have the life you dream of. Would you think of maybe writing a list of all the things you have to offer the world to help you remember how special you are? It might be a silly idea, but it might also help. Being alone in everything is so incredibly hard, I definately know that. I know there is so much pain, but you can get through it. I believe in you. :gimmehug:gimmehug:gimmehug

My family ignored my eating disorder not because they didn't care, but because it hurt them too much to deal with how much pain I was in. It was just too painful for them to deal with. It's still hard for me to accept, but they did care, they just couldn't reach out to me. Even if you feel like you are not getting much support from your family at the moment, it could be that they just have no idea how to help you or deal with your ED. It doesn't mean that your health and life aren't important to them, but that they don't know how to help you. Are you seeing a T hun?

I care and all of us fishies care, and we understand the pain of EDs. We are open ears for anything you want to share. We will support you. :gimmehug

You matter and your life matters to all of us here at SFishy. :lubdub:gimmehug:lubdub:gimmehug:lubdub

Daisychain xx

[SweetUsagi]

i hear your pain here but my question is: what are you seeking from the bowl by writing this? what kind of reaction do you need? it sounds like you're very hopeless right now and like you really need some real-time support to cope with those feelings.

[Medstudent]

We care, and I think you know that we care and you feel safe coming here like all of us do, and that's a very good thing, Change. I'm so, so sorry that you are feeling so burdened...I have been there (not too long ago) myself. It is a terrifying place. Talk to us!

[classicrockergirl]

I don't even know you but I care. A lot. I care because you are in the same position as me. We both know how it is. I have been in a "good period" of almost a year where my bulimia was almost nonexistent. I can tell you, it's worth it. I would have something bad happen in a day, and then i'd think "well this sucks but at least I don't have to binge and purge" and I'd be happy knowing that. I relapsed very slowly. I wish I'd caught it earlier. I kept denying that it would ever get this bad again. But I'm on my way back. It's worth it. You're worth it. Don't give up. Please.

[Millificent]

There ARE people who care and you need to keep talking to your therapist, family, and friends, so they know how desperate you are feeling. If you cannot talk to one of them right away, please call a hotline.

I have to close this, because we are not able to help someone who is feeling so badly about life. It's because we DO care and want to urge you to find someone who can give you the help that you truly do deserve.

Reach out for help offline

:dragon Millie