parents in the dark?

[happytoez]

I read a post about parents being mad because they care and are worried, but I was wondering if there are any :fishy 's whose parents don't know about their ed. I finally told my parents about some SI stuff last year, and it was horrible. I know they cared lot, but I think it was hard on them :ugh , and it made me uncomfortable. It was like I was always in the spotlight and they always had to know what was going on. I know they just wanted to help, but if you've never experienced it, it's hard to understand...and they just didn't get it. My ed (not even sure i have one) was at its worst at college, but I went to a nutritionist to help with it, so I didn't tell my parents. I don't want them to know. I'd hate to feel like I hurt them again :sad, and I want to try handling this by myself. So, I was just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me?

:sun happytoez :sun

[sunburst]

:hugon :sun happytoez :sun :hugoff

I'm sorry to hear you are so upset with keeping this all from your parents. My parents have no idea of my ED, they've even caught me purgeing a couple times, but I was always able to make up an excuse for it. I would never want my parents to know...because it would upset them but mostly because I could see them looking at me with disapointment...and I just know I can't handle more negative people in my life. Like you, I just don't think that it would help things much...I don't want to hurt them, and I don't think they know a thing about ED's (well, maybe what the media portrays, but thats about as acurate as my drawing :sarcasm)

But happytoez, if telling them does not help you and/or your ED, then it is not worth the hurt both you and your parents would suffer by you telling them. I can relate as I wouldn't want anyone I care about to have to share the same burden of the ED that I need to. I wouldn't want to bring anyone down with me....

Things have changed though. I once thought I could handle it all on my own, and I'd say I did a pretty :kick ED job...but it turns out that I only covered up all my feelings, sucked it all in and pushed forward...I was never cured, I only delayed the inevitable. An ED is too hard to battle on your own, everyone needs support from either family, friends, relationships, therapists....someone that can help you through your ED I find to be essential in :kick ED butt! To battle this disease on your own takes too much out of you...which I did try and two years later I'm so much worse.

I think that if your parents knowing before didn't help, it probably won't help this time either. If you want them to know...by all means tell them. But if you think that things will only cause both you and them more pain with out giving you much support and help....then please don't. But PLEASE!! don't fight this alone! There is someone who can help you, and if you aren't seeing therapy, I recommend it.

Best wishes on your journey.....email if you need to talk or for anything.....rawgrl**@aol.com (**'s is the number eightyone)

Peace & Luv
sunburst :walking

[HippieChick]

My situation is actually the opposite. My mom knows about my eating disorder and problems I've had with alcohol. What I was ashamed to tell her about was the SI. I figured she could handle the whole ed thing, but I didn't know how she would take me cutting myself. I was afraid she'd think I was a bit nutso. Also, I don't want to cause her any pain by telling her about that particular demon I have.

Personally I think you should tell your parent, because you may find out they already knew. It could be they just didn't know how to approach you.

:love Adrienne

[Suey]

I know exactlywhat ur going thru, and this is actually a HUGE huge issue w/me and my parents. Like, before i just didnt know wether or not i should tell them, and now i really think that they know about it. I mean they comment about stuff all the time and it makes me really angry and only makes things worse for everyone (their comments). But i know its out of caring, so im working on like hiding it more efficiently, cuz like u, i KNOW for a fact that telling them will not help. I mean we already have an insanely screwed up relationship, my parents and i, and thats only w/them having a hint of my ED. What if they knew for sure???They wouldnt get me the help i need tho, i know that. Cuz i told my mom sometime last year adn her and i cried over everything, but she was just like "honey you dont need HELP, u just need prayer." ......?!okay!??!I mean im totally for prayer but i need some help!! I'm only in high school, (seinor) so its not like i can go out and get the help i need behind their backs and be able to handle the fees and all on my own. Anyways this is getting boring im sure, so im done...but ty for posting this....i was about to start a post anyways! Take care and email me! EvianXtasy***@aol.com (the numbers are nine-zero-nine) take care girly! Im right there in the boat w/u!! Sux doesnt it!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?

[Suey]

Hey i was the first one to reply in color!!!! YAYYAYYAY lol. How bout that??I know its not very exciting but im easily entertained, especially when crap is on my mind, like this issue. Happy dance! :robot:robot:robot:robot
:bandwagon

[emma lucy]

:hugon Happytoez :hugoff

I managed to keep my ED a secret for many years until Easter last year when I took the bold step of telling my family.
I was really :scared but after having told them it was like a release. The secret had held me back for many years and then I was free :happy
Our parents want the best for us, so never feel afraid to tell them when you need their help. They just want you to get better and to not suffer in silence.
:edbgone