GardenOfSimple
06-13-2001, 11:48 PM
Who would I really be? I'd be Jamie. I'd still be seventeen years old. But who would I be??? Me doesn't really change. I am confused about religious beliefs. Come to think of it, I am the same way about all my beliefs. What everyone else thinks is right becomes my opinion. I don't have the confidence to make my own belief system. I don't even know what I like any more. But, I do know that I'm a girl with dreams of teaching (third grade or younger or special ed of some type) or being a therapist. I like kids. I like helping people. I'm a friend to many, often putting others first, willing to sacrifice my well-being for theirs. I can't stand seeing others in pain, and often take others' problems in as my own. I'm always there to offer a hug and see the wonderful qualities in others, many times overlooking the not-as-good ones, but I find it hard to believe compliments and good things pertaining to myself. I see myself as extremely unattractive and unpopular. None of that would change.
Without the titles, it can still be a struggle to smile. Many times the emotional pain I feel is brought on by guilt. A lot of times this is centered around the family. I love my family, but find it hard to be nice to them a lot of times. I take it harder even than the people I interact with poorly. I am intelligent. I can be perfectionistic about things, possessing high standards for myself and getting upset when I fail to reach them. That's me. Without an eating disorder, without self-injuring, and without doing gymnastics, that's still me. Granted some emotional issues will probably be improved upon through the recovery process, but they're still different.
Without seeing this in typing (I wrote it out first, making oodles of corrections before posting it), I'm thinking this is very long, and I'm sorry about that. This was a challenge for me, even though I've looked at this concept before. A first draft is in my diary. Thank you, Car:cargreen! I think this was pretty helpful
Without the titles, it can still be a struggle to smile. Many times the emotional pain I feel is brought on by guilt. A lot of times this is centered around the family. I love my family, but find it hard to be nice to them a lot of times. I take it harder even than the people I interact with poorly. I am intelligent. I can be perfectionistic about things, possessing high standards for myself and getting upset when I fail to reach them. That's me. Without an eating disorder, without self-injuring, and without doing gymnastics, that's still me. Granted some emotional issues will probably be improved upon through the recovery process, but they're still different.
Without seeing this in typing (I wrote it out first, making oodles of corrections before posting it), I'm thinking this is very long, and I'm sorry about that. This was a challenge for me, even though I've looked at this concept before. A first draft is in my diary. Thank you, Car:cargreen! I think this was pretty helpful