Homework assignment

[petals]

Hi Fishies,

I am working on my homework assignment of how to comfort my inner-nine year old child. When I was nine I attended a inner-city school (K-ninth grade), was advanced for my grade level --so I was pulled out and put into "older" classes for course work, burned my hand severely(second degree burns), fell in a rats "nest", experienced some sexual trauma, and moved. So far I have defined what comfort "is" and what it is not. But how does one comfort a pre-adolescent inner child? I am at a loss...any suggestions? Thank you for your help.

Hugs,
petals

[Freeway]

Assure that you will not abandon or neglect her

Listen to her unconditionally and nonjudgmentally

Keep your promises and do not make promises that you cannot keep




(I will add on when I can think of more things...gotta log out for now... :gimmehug)


Freeway :love

[Dancelova]

I don't know if this will help but I'll give it a shot:

Yesterday I went to my old dance schools dance recital. There were so many young kids. The whole time I thought about my ed. All of those young kids as young as four, were all so innocent, and they didn't have a worry. They didn't care what people thought of them, they were just all having fun.

Hope that helps!!

[biggestgainer]

I don't even think I can comprehend nine years old. I vaguely remember third grade. I was tiny and had a late birthday so I was a year behind. It was a good thing as I was not a bright child. I don't think anything comforted me at the age of nine. I was little; I was slow; and I was in a parochial school. All I know is I was always different.

I don't even believe I have the skills of a nine year old. I think I got stuck in August of nineteen sixty eight. So comfort still comes from a blanket and a new beanie baby.

I think solitary bike rides brought me comfort. I think solitary anything brought me comfort.

[Demosthenes]

After reading this post, I started thinking about this, and I just realized one of the things I do -- I never quite realized that I did it, or I would have written it for you right away.

There's a poem by Edna St Vincent Millay -- here I found it:

Prayer to Persephone

Be to her, Persephone,
All the things I might not be;
Take her head upon your knee.
She that was so proud and wild,
Flippant, arrogant and free,
She that had no need of me,
Is a little lonely child
Lost in Hell, -- Persephone,
Take her head upon your knee;
Say to her, "My dear, my dear,
It is not so dreadful here."

I say the last lines to myself -- and find them comforting.

Generally, though, I'm no good at comforting myself. I'm working on it. What's working so far is trying to use that rational, nurturing voice in my head -- saying kind, supportive, nurturing things to myself. "It's going to be OK, we can get through this. Worse things have happened, and we'll get through this, too. It's going to be OK -- you can do this, you're just afraid. And it's OK to be afraid." It's not as good as having a lap to climb into, and I often get angry and frustrated and cry that I am that alone -- remember, I'm married, so I shouldn't be this alone -- but even if it triggers some of the loneliness, it also does help. And I can say the things that I think I want most to hear -- rather than what someone else happens to say.

I hope that helps. And if you find something effective, would you let me know?

[petals]

Hi everyone,:gimmehug

I sort of put this assignment on hold for a bit--as my finances were dictating some immediate changes. :challenge I am going to print this up and really think more about what has been written to me. I am still at a loss as to how to try and proceed. This is a good indication that I have more healing and thinking to do first. Thank you again. Take care.

Hugs,
petals