Highschool bullemic

[cuckoo]

Im new to this website and Im not afraid to admit that I need help. It just feels weird telling my story to a bunch of people I dont know.
I used to be very over weight when I was younger. Then I lost about a third of my body weight. Im average weight now. I still feel that I have a long way to go. Ive been bullemic for a while now and Ive only told two people. They told me to get help but, I dont have medical insurance so thats not the best idea at the moment. Also, talking to people about it makes it feel like Im bragging about it, but Im not. Im actualy ashamed and in denial most of the time. I havnt forced myself to do anything in a few days, only because my throat is starting to hurt pretty bad and I know that if it didnt Id be doing it right now. My parents dont know, no one knows except for the two mentioned, and who evers reading this knows. Im just scared. I see what can happen to people and I dont want that to be me. To me its just... addicting.

[PartlySunny]

To most of us, it's addicting. Thats why its SO important to get help and stop as soon as you can. I'm still young, but I've been struggling for more years than I can count and now that I want this eating disorder out of my life, I can't let it go. Telling strangers, as you said, can be really helpful, to get out all the worries, thoughts, fears about recovery and this horrible illness. I hope you can get help, I would do anything to keep others from going down the eating disorder path that I did. Take care of yourself, and welcome :)

[midnightdreary]

Welcome, .cuckoo.

:digdeep Why do you turn to food/ed tendencies to mask your emotions? Why do you think you use your ED? What do you want to get out of recovery? Is that why you joined the :bowl?

Just a few things to ponder.

[cuckoo]

Welcome, .cuckoo.

:digdeep Why do you turn to food/ed tendencies to mask your emotions? Why do you think you use your ED? What do you want to get out of recovery? Is that why you joined the :bowl?

Just a few things to ponder.


It feels like what and how I eat are the only things in life that I have control over. Whats ED? and what does the fish tank stand for? Im new >.< sorry.

I just want to get recovered before anyone finds out about it to be honest.

[cuckoo]

Thanks for being so welcoming and kind :)

[Whitecat]

Ed is short for "eating disorder"
When someone says "fish tank" that usually refers to the something-fishy website and the forums.
Can you speak with a counselor at your school? The longer I went without getting professional help, the more and more I sank into Ed. What do you think would happen if you talk to your parents about it? I hope that you are taking care of yourself! By coming to this website, you are showing that you want to get better - you are very courageous for putting yourself out there. At first, I thought it was really strange that people were talking about eating disorders so openly on the internet, because I didn't realize how much it could help. Just the fact that I know, and now you know, that we are not alone, that helps me the most. Also, that there is hope for us. There are fishies (members of SF like you and I) who are RECOVERED! It rocks.
Whitecat