Going out?

[bowlinggirl]

I have had such a hard time eatting anything lately. Lately though, I have been getting the suggestion of eatting out a lot more often. I just can't even think about that though. Every time I have eatten lately I have purged it. Then I just feel sick with myself for all of it. It's a loose - loose situation where I can't seem to get out at any time.

Then, the last few times I have gone out I have just restricted it all. I have gotten small meals, and just eatten a little it of it. I am getting down to the point where I want and it takes a lot of energy to not purge in the resturants. It's not that I have never enjoyed going out, but I just think about what is going in me, and how quick I can get it back out. :ugh :scared

I just seem to get worse but I can't really see it clearly. I can just see what has happened to those around me :scared