Languages of Love/Harlow's Psychological Theory

[Rayneonthemoon]

Someone was telling me about a book the other day something like "The Languages of Love" (??) I don't remember the title but it talks about different ways that people *feel* love, and if they do not get that love in a way that they can *feel* it, then that is what is a major set up for problems in life; It talks about love being expressed in ways such as "Touch/Feel, Service, Verbal" -- I can't remember the rest. Anyways, it sounded really interesting -- my therapist was telling me about a psychological theory by Harlow that had to do with monkees and nuture, and when this person told me about the book - it reminded me of the psychological theory (see link below)

http://users.rcn.com/napier.interport/cwm/experim.html

Anyways, back to the subject - does anyone know about the book I am talking about above (or of any other books that explore similar issues of Harlow's theory?)

[mattieal]

The book that was probably mentioned to you was called the **** love languages by Gary Chapman.

Touch
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Gifts
Quality Time

This is a great book and there are different version of for children, teenagers, couples. It is interesting to learn that we have our own language and that others in our lives have a different one. We respond differently. For example my husband is all about touch, but I am nore about gifts and quality time. So when I go out of my way to get him a special gift I may be dissapointed because that is not him main love language.

I highly recommend reading it.

Annie

[mattieal]

f i v e love languages

[mattieal]

Long story short I found a piece of paper my husband had written when he was angry with me.
it said
"If she is not going to get better, I wish she would just die and spare the rest of us pain."
I cried and cried and told him he had a pass to leave me, he could just go. He says he didn't mean it he was angry, and clearly he never inteneded for me to see it. But those words are so harsh.

There were some other harsh words he wrote. I can't reasonable me mad at him since he did write them in private. I wasn't snooping I was moving papers and saw Annie and Die and curiousity got the best of me.

I am so hurt and so scared. When I am in my darkest moments that is the argument I have in my mind. What I read just validated my worst thoughts.

I don't know what to do. It's too much to just let go, iv'e tried.
I can talk about it with my T, and I am wondering if I should bring it up with our couples shrink?
But then I dpn't know

I am concerned that he would have such anget that he is not dealing with, and that is my worry for him.
What would you do?