is it time to know???

[iheartu]

i need you guys' opinion.....

i havent known my weight in almost nine yrs. when i was first put in treatment they wouldnt let us know our weight everytime we weighed in and ever since then i have never known. i am twenty one almost twenty two now and wondering if its time i face reality and know. for a while i didnt want to know bc i thought that it would be too triggering...but ive gone so long not knowing that i wonder if its a comfort/control thing not knowing and still practicing my ed some by not realizing how low my weight may be.

i am not doing well at all right now....my counselor weighs me, i dont see a nutrit. due to there not being anyone here, where i live. we talked some today about maybe me knowing my weight and the pros and cons, but i cant decide...i worry that it could hurt me but then i also think it could help.

what do you fishies think? what works for you? thanks :)

[sunsetj]

:stars :stars :gimmehug well I will give a quick reply, I really dont think its a good idea right now! esp. if you are feeling o.k.,,it will most likely give you a trigger, I know from experience, I will try going a month without weighing myself, & it all really depends on what state of mind i am in at the moment, & i'm o.k. & sometimes, it really dosent matter at all,,I can be feeling healthy with my ed & still get TRIGGERS!!! its scarry for me, thats my only advice, I wouldent rush into seeing your wgt. right now! but i could be wrong, it might enourage you how great you are really doing! to me you sound AMAZING !!! you have a lot of strenght you have come so far,you deserve tons of credit!!what it all boils down to you will really have to make sure your stable when you make that decision to get weighed & actually see the numbers!!! keep up the good work!!! JULIE

[iheartu]

thank u for ur opinion.

im still debating on what to do. sometimes i think if i see the number and how low it is i will get my butt in gear and face the facts of how sick i am right now. but then it worries me that it may also become a trigger later in knowing how low i once was. not knowing my weight has been a bittersweet experience.

if i do decide to know what i weigh, i plan on committing to only looking at the scale when i am with my therapist in a safe enviroment every other week.

i feel like sometimes i hold onto the ed even more bc i dont know what my weight is ever doing and so i know that if i have the eating disorder i do know what its doing, if that makes any sense.

more feedback would be much appreciated :)

[BitterforSweet]

do you think your ready? if its going to upset you, dont do it. only if you feel your ready to know. if you going to be okay with it, do it. if not, like you might go back to your old ways, dont. i dont know what i weigh either, I decided that I am going to ask next weigh in, its time to know.

[iheartu]

what are your reasons for knowing yours :angel bittersweet???

[BitterforSweet]

well i havent weighed myself in a very long time, and that is something i am very proud of. i would weigh myself like **** times a day last year. then i would get weighed at therpy and she would tell me if i gained and i be sad then she suggested just to stop weighing myself. it was hard at first but i cant remember the last time i did. i was pretty low in jan and i asked last week if i gained alot and she asked if i wanted to know and i told her i wasnt ready yet. she gave me a detail, and for once in my life im okay with it. i think the only reason i want to know it though is bc i know im still underweight but its alot better than i was. i need to keep convincing myself im okay, which is hard. who knows what will happen when i go to weighed at the end of the month, maybe ill chicken out. my advice to u is just not to do something your not ready to do, which you probably already know. of knowing your weight is going to delay your recovering, dont do it. sorry that was long, i tend to ramble

[cesini]

It's different for everyone; you have to know yourself and make a personal decision.

Having said that, it doesn't sound like you're in a good place right now to know your weight if you say you're "not doing well at all right now." It sounds like being weighed would be a trigger for you. Is there a voice in your head telling you that you "should" be weighed? The "should" voices are ED voices. Tune them out.