View Full Version : Feeling cruddy!.... to say the least

06-22-2001, 05:19 PM

*big sigh*
Well dont know what's with me ....... I've had yet another day where I've just done nothing except stay curled up on my bed .... kind of immobilised by really low mood. And ....... I guess it kinda scares me. Partly my own fault having gone cold turkey with meds and stuff (...... really bloody stupid and I dont recommend it to anyone!) and I'm in the process of sorting that out but man ..... I just feel so taken out of myself, here but watching from a huge big distance and yeah this :fishy is really scared. Don't know why or what of just scared. There's no reason for me to feel like this but I do. I find it hard to accept but thats how it is and I dont like it. Don't know how to shift it. Pick myself up .... or anything! I know I feel really out there and alone despite having a couple of people who would severly :kick my butt if they knew I was feeling like this and not saying anything .... I just cant.

In such a pigging muddle here..... and just "feeling". It hurts.

It hurts soooooooooo much :sad :cry.

What do I need? Well, someone to hold me just for five. Someone to take this trip with me cos I'm so sick of bumbling along on my own. .... and I need not to be me just now! Stupid I know but hey.... you live.... you learn.

Suppose I just wanted to put this outside myself ..... have been wanting to post for a while but by the time I've edited what I can say, should say, want to say and do say ..... it seems like I just end up hugging the :bowl. So, today .... i take that risk! I don't care .... every action has a consequence and I'll face that when and if I have to! (I figure I can't feel any naffer by risking something than if I dont so I may just as well risk it :winky)

As for something positive .... mmmmmm ..... I did get up and dressed today! (I'm looking at the small things!!! but even they're achievements I guess!)

:love ya ..... and sorry for letting it all hang out!

Fran Xxxx

06-22-2001, 06:03 PM
:hugon fran :hugoff

hey honey!
im glad u posted and im so sorry u r feeling so bad right now!
i was like that last week i refused to leave the house and i just sleep all day even though i wasnt tired just to escape this world cause when u sleep its kinda like you can escape from yourself! so i do understand! :happy

about the meds thing i also have done that! and it leaves you just feelin so low and awfull i can totaly identify with what your saying just feeling so low but not knowing why! my advice would be get it sorted as soon as you can cause you need the help right now!

for the curling up on your bed thing and hiding what i do on days which i really just want to do is the night before i make a plan hour by hour of what i am going to do the next day and i have to stick to that otherwise........ and i make up a eason somtimes just having a plan some sort of structure can help staying hidden away wont help it just lets you dwell on your thoughts you need to get out there and :kick ED butt! :edbgone
good ol distraction take your mind off things!
come on honey theres so much more to life than this hell!
you can do it i know you can!

:love ya honey!

sammie xxx
:stars :stars :stars

06-22-2001, 06:34 PM
Hey U:love
You do not need a reason to feel blue:sad It is okay to have our feelings. I am concerned about you though and i care for you a great deal.:love:bear I know what it is like to want to hide for days, but give yourself a time limit and get moving even if you are in a slump. maybe a routine, small things. How about a new haircut or manicure?:happy Sometimes, when we are hurting we can get overwhelmed with our feelings and are tempted to get trapped into our ed thought patterns and behaviors. Remember your recovery behaviors and call your friends. I am so sorry you are sad..... take care of YOU even though you are sad. Please be :loveing to U. You deserve :love and please try to receive it:sun
Sending you all the hugs you can endure :hugon:hugon:hugoff:hugoff:hugon:hugoff:hugoffFran :hugonFran:hugoff

06-22-2001, 09:36 PM
:hugon FRAN :hugoff

I am so proud of you! This has been a long time coming. I hate that you are so low and down right now, but I am happier than ever to really hear what you are feeling.

Fran...I am holding you close to my :love. I am sending you :hugon HUGS :hugoff amd :love

Please know how much I care about you. I want you to be happy. You mean so much to me.

Please keep talking. This is good for you...to get it out. If you can't do it here, email me. I know it is hard. Boy, do I know it is hard. BUT keep pushing because one of these days you and I will be skipping down the street in happiness with out a care in the world!

Take care sweetie! You are :loved

:love andrea

P.S. Thanks so much for the b-day present! :supergrin I just about had a heart attack when I realized it was from you. :sarcasm There were tears in my eyes! You are so thoughtful! What a way to end a wonderful day!