Bulimia/compulsive overeating

[Lisacam]

Hi, I wonder if anyone can shed some light on a problem I am having at the moment...I have been symptom free for nine months or so, this is wonderful for me, but I find every so often I get out of control!!! either eating like a banshee or dieting, I don't want to get into another addiction but I find it difficult to know what's happening, I though all my troubles would be over . MMMMMmmm any advice or thoughts most welcome.

[Hopeful]

Way to go with so many months of being ED-free :yay! When you mention that you're either eating a ton or 'dieting' (restricting), it could be that combination which is causing ED to act up again. When we start either bingeing or restricting and continue that...eventually the opposite behavior will happen to try and "counter-act" the first. Does that make sense? In other words, if you're restricting your caloric intake, you will likely end up bingeing/over-eating because your body will be literally starving for food. Then if you binge, maybe you're going back to restricting to "make up for it." It's hard when we get caught up in that cycle. Have you worked with a meal plan (and/or nutritionist) in the past? When you're more able to eat "throughout" the day, you're less likely to get overly hungry. You've done so well for such a long time, can you think back as to what you were doing (what techniques, etc) to keep you in a good eating spot?

[Millificent]

Lisa,

How you are defining "symptom-free"?
I ask because in December you posted the same question, again saying that you were symptom free for several months. But you also admitted that you are afraid of gaining weight and go back to the dieting/overeating cycle.

It's GREAT that you are no longer purging, but restricting in order to control your weight is still a symptom. You have every right to be proud of yourself for not using some behaviors, but it's not good to disregard other ones.

:dragon Millie

[LETBC]

:gimmehug Hi Lisa-

I have a very similar situation to yours. I am "symptom free" about eighty percent of the time. I still struggle with overeating on a weekly basis and purging every once in a while, but by and large, I have come a long way. That being said, I completely relate to your frustration of never being able to completely cross that proverbial finish line of ED recovery.

I guess my only advice is that anything worthwhile in this life often does not come easily - recovery isn't something that happens unless you make real (sometimes painful/uncomfortable) changes in your every day thoughts and actions.

Good :clover

:love
LETBC

[Paddington]

I'm very similar, I go through cycles of being behaviour free, then launch back in to either b/p or restriction. Could you pin point what happens before you go back to ed behaviours? Is there an event like increased pressure or stress, someone being unkind etc. It can be very helpful to know what triggers the return to ed behaviour, and if you know what it is, you can try and get a handle on it. Do you have a T? If so, could you talk to them about it?

And BIG :yay :bounce :hairy :yay on the being free from behaviours for so long. That's fantastic :grin What helps get you out of an ed episode if one begins?

Paddington :uk

[Lisacam]

Thank you for your replies,
What I mean when I say symptom free is that I haven't binged and vommited since around May.
During this time I kept to three largish meals a day and I seemed to not fluctuate a lot in weight..... Then somehow I started really enjoying food a lot more, looking forward to each meal or drink and relying on it for comfort.
Then I eventually started to slack!!!not concentrating on correct eating habits,drinking too much(saying to myself its ok your normal now!!!) another four biscuits won't hurt, another takeaway is fine)
I then naturally put on weight? Well if I did! I felt absolutely gutted, wretched,useless,a piece of nothing.I can't put into words how sad I am when I am overweight, it feels like the burden of the world is on my shoulders, which is so selfish when there are so many real troubles in the world.