Life Without ED- very motivational story

[diamond in the rough]

I highly recommend Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too , by Jenni Schaefer.

It is a true story about Jenni Schaefer's life with her ED and through recovery, written in short (usually one- to three- page) chapters. It is written in a commical way, and is a quick read. It is written as if Jenni's ED was a man ("Ed") who Jenni was divorcing. It is very inspiring and it motivated me to get better. It also has excercises at the end of each chapter written by Jenni's T.

Is it triggering? I don't think it was at all. It doesn't glorify the ED or give numbers of weights or calories or anything.

[Levena]

Hi there Diamond,

I've not read this book yet, but will get to it, lol, so much to get to :ohboy I've read of it being recommended in the :bowl many times and also in my own circles in real time. Thanks for the reminder that this is one I would like to get hold of.

Cheers, lev

[annebear]

diamond in the rough,
Hello! I have read her book and reread it. Currently my copy is out on loan...and I have found her thoughts and struggles very helpful to my recovery. She has a website as well that you may find interesting. It's listed either in the back of the book (with information on the author) or on the back cover. Take care.
Hugs,
annebear

[danceintothelight]

Jenni's book has been one of the most inspirational books I have ever read. I love the fact that she doesn't focus on numbers or weight or behaviors, but rather focuses mainly on Ed, which is the underlying issue that we need to confront. I also saw her speak last year and thought she was amazing. I now refer to my eating disorder as "Ed" and separating myself from this "abusive boyfriend" has been so helpful.

READ IT!
xoxo

[batears]

Well, obviously against the majority...I DO NOT like this book. I have been trying to get through it for weeks (usually a new ED book takes me only a few days, or less). I just think it is sort of repetitve and I am bored with it.
But, I am glad it is helping some ppl- I have head that a lot...perhaps I am just an oddbll :spinny

[MongrelCat]

I've been wanting to read this book since everyone has recommended it to me and it's practically endorsed by the IP place I was in. :muhaha (They really love that book there!)

BUT I'm really not into that whole, calling my ED by a name/referring to it as a person. One) It just reminds me of all the negative and triggering pro.....websites who come up with all those silly little names for serious illness. And two)I just don't like it. I don't think there is a separate entity inside my head telling me to starve/binge/purge. It's my head, my brain saying it. I wanna learn how to defeat those thoughts in my brain, not.....Ed.

I don't know. It's hard to explain. It's kinda like....I feel like it's just another way for people with EDs to blame it on someone else, which is kinda common. Like, "Ed made me do it! Stupid ol' Ed made me not eat today! Damn you Ed!" You know? I feel like this is me, I'm doing this to myself.

I feel like this post is gonna seem really negative. I really don't mean for it to be. I'm really glad it had helped many many many people and hopefully I can find a recovery book that "fits" me.

[diamond in the rough]

BUT I'm really not into that whole, calling my ED by a name/referring to it as a person.

Me either, actually, but I thought she used it in a way that made the book entertaining to me. I personally don't name my ED, but I do see how separating the "eating disorder" voice from your "healthy voice" can be helpful, and I do that.

[Levena]

I don't know. It's hard to explain. It's kinda like....I feel like it's just another way for people with EDs to blame it on someone else, which is kinda common. Like, "Ed made me do it! Stupid ol' Ed made me not eat today! Damn you Ed!" You know? I feel like this is me, I'm doing this to myself.

I feel like this post is gonna seem really negative. I really don't mean for it to be. I'm really glad it had helped many many many people and hopefully I can find a recovery book that "fits" me.

Thanks for this point of view :hugonMongrelCat:hugoff I can sure see that some might use the naming of the ED (and hence giving it it's own persona) as an out for taking responsibility for their own actions. I guess that it depends on the individual though.
My ED has a name and when I first named it I was embarrassed to tell anyone as I thought the idea was pretty :wacky The Rex Monster is the name of my ED or just Rex for short. For as long as I can remember everything has always been my fault in my mind at least. And I mean EVERYTHING, parents divorce (I was five), devestating car accident my family was in (also when I was five and well, obviously not driving), SA I experienced both as a young child and as a teen, and even things I heard about that happened on the other side of the world. Developing an ED was my fault, it was stupid, I was stupid, I was a failure and a disappointment to all. I was damaged from the SA, which because it was my fault made me unworthy of being cared for including being nourished. The ED came to serve a pupose in my life to punish me for all my wrongdoings as I deserved (in my mind which clearly was very disordered).
Naming my ED means that for once in my life something is not my fault. Yes I'm responsible for my actions and I need to continue to work to challenge all the thoughts that tend to lead me into restriction and over exercise, but the fact that I have an ED is not my fault. The fact that I have these automatic thoughts is not my fault. I didn't choose to have an eating disorder, just as I didn't choose or play any part in my parent's divorce, a car crash, being victimised, and so much more.

I realise that giving the ED a persona might equally be a problem and have the opposite effect to what it has had for me. I suppose it is a matter of working out rationally and wisely what is best for ourselves as individuals. I really hope that you are able to find a book that is helpful for you.

Thank you for your thought provoking input as your point of view is not something I'd previously considered very much.

:gimmehug :gimmehug :gimmehug :gimmehug
:gimmehug :gimmehug :gimmehug :gimmehug
:gimmehug :gimmehug :gimmehug :gimmehug

levie

[Millificent]

Hey, DC-Baltimore :fishy I got a notice yesterday that Jenni is going to be doing a workshop as part of Awareness Week, at Goucher College.

Jenni has the contact info (and the rest of her speaking schedule) on her website.

:dragon Millie

[Shuffleboard Queen]

If you have a chance to meet Jenni, definitely do it! I've met her and she's so freaking cool! She visited the treatment center I was at.

I do use the separate identity for my ED, but it's also knowing that I have a choice whether or not to do what Ed says. Just like some random guy could come into the room and tell me to wash his car. I have the choice whether or not to comply. But the theory makes it easier to distinguish ED thoughts from healthy thoughts.

[RainbowSprites]

I've read it a few times and have found it helpful. The book is in short chapters which are easily readable. It gives a lot of good, helpful tips and helps you separate yourself from your eating disorder. I'm not into naming my eating disorder or anything either-- but if it helps someone else recover, then by all means do it! :cool I didn't feel like the book was triggering at all.

[purplebfly]

I just borrowed this from the library!

[bookreader]

hey guys, just noticed that Jenni S. has a blog on the gurze blog, you can talk to her directly!

[purplebfly]

I started reading this last night and I was struck firstly by her strength and her sense of humour... I am not sure about the seperation of ED and ME but I can definitely definitely see how it could work! i think at the moment I am struggling with the idea that it is something else seperate from me that isn't my fault. Maybe I should see her blog and check it out

[fish out of water]

i own this book. i havent read it yet. its been on my bookshelf since last year when i bought it
at first just the thought of the title kind of scared me.
cause i wasnt ready to let go of ED

now im going to ready to read the book, hoping that it will help me in some way,

i have heard a lot of good things from this book so i will give it a try.

thanks for motivating me to read it.

[I am Strong.]

I am almost done with this book, and I would have to say that I like it a lot. Seperating myself from Ed is helping me move foward in recovery tremendously. I know that I have made Ed a part of me in the past, but I am slowly divorcing. I would advise anyone to read this book- quick read for those who don't have all the time in the world. :winky

[indigokaren]

for me, this was the most helpful book on the subject that i have read. since reading it, i have started looking at my ED as someone i need to get rid of. it has really helped me to (as crazy as it sounds) be able to have a conversation with my anorexia and bulimia.

i often find myself re-reading certain parts of this book when i'm feeling weak.

[LovelyMess]

I'm definately going to get this out of the library :) Thanks for recommending it!

[amandaloves]

I know I'm in the minority, but my therapist recommended this book to me a few days ago and I can barely get through it. The personification of the eating disorder is something that I can't connect with. I might be able to "connect" if the metaphor hadn't been used in such an elementary way. I know I sound grumpy and I certainly am happy if other people connect with it! The last sentence I read (the sentence that made me want to throw the book) described where everyone was sitting during a therapy session and apparently Ed was sprawled out on the couch. That took the metaphor too far for me and turned me off of the idea. I don't know . . . I was an English major. Maybe I'm hypercritical.

Be well, everyone!:rainbow

[indigokaren]

yeah, it's hardly a piece of academic writing. and it is an easy read. usually i don't like or relate to that kind of writing. but it did really help me.

[lilypie]

I just began to read the book, and thus far i do like it. I think it will be helpful to me, I have been in the same old same old routine for months now, I need to get moving on recovery. sounds so easy doesn't it?, but we all know it is so tough. Good luck.

[alilyintherain]

Just finished this book, and it helped me out a lot! This is definitely a book I will keep around, and probably re-read a couple of times. For me, the concept of 'divorcing' my ED was really helpful, especially how Jenni likens it to an abusive relationship that needs to end.

The really weird thing? The week BEFORE I bought it, I wrote a poem titled "My Declaration of Independence" and named my ED. And I hadn't even bought the book, yet. Go figure.

[crazytater]

It was the only thing I have ever read that mirrored the conversations that took place in my head. It was like having two people in one head. There is one anectdote in the story with Jenny and ED in an elevator on the top floor she is thin and amazing and by the time they reach the lobby several thinner people have gotten on and she is suddenly the largest person on the elevator. She describes how your total mood and perseverance can be beaten down by something as simple as a ride in an elevator. it was very powerful for me. I really enjoyed it and still read it a couple times a month.

[striveforone]

I seem to be one of the few that did not really like it. Although it made me realize a lot about my own relationship with my ED, I was not in a good place the weekend that I read it, and it just triggered me more. For myself, I think it was a compilation of being depressed because she could do it and I was struggling so, or something like that. I was also pretty fresh in recovery, and maybe not ready to read any books about someone else's recovery, although my therapist said it might help.
Maybe I will read it again someday. Just to see how I react when Im on more solid ground.
Well, that is my two cents!

[gracewillcome]

Hi! I was just wondering what the gurze blog is and where you can find it... and is this book good for any kind of ED? Thanks...

[susibee]

gurze.com, where you can also search for lots of ED books.

[loranicole]

I read the book when I was deep into my ED. Although I did not find it triggering, I thought it was just plain stupid. Forgive my judgements, and maybe it was just my ED yelling at me, but the hilight of the book for me was how her therapist spelled his name (Thom). I thought it was rathar repetitive too. I suppose this just wasn't the book for me. Maybe someday I will read it again and get inspired (in a good way), but for now, it's not on my list of things to do.

[AmyG]

I read it a few years ago and agree I also found it to be a good ED book and not at all triggering. I confess, I planned on trying some of her exercises that helped in her recovery. I thought they sure could not hurt. Well, I never did get around to doing them. :sarcasm Bad Amy! Oops. I'm glad you are finding the book helpful.

[maybel]

ah i just posted about this book also ... i feel so silly i didnt even look to see if anyone else had first ... sorry i couldnt figure out how to delete mine either and just post on urs ... but i so very much agree it is such a wonderful book. !!