BOOK ONE: Eating in the Light of the Moon

[Kensington]

The first selection for the new Something Fishy Book Club is:


Eating in the Light of the Moon by Anita Johnston.


I had hoped to be finished with the book before I announced it, but the new boards were put up faster than I expected! :yay I am about halfway through the book & it's a wonderful read so far. I wish I had found it when I was new to recovery.

The blurb on the front cover really sums it up well:

"How women can transform their relationships with food through myths, metaphors & storytelling"

Anita Johnston is a Ph.D who, at least at the time of publishing of the book, has a private practice & specializes in eating disorders & women's issues. She co-founded the Anorexia & Bulimia Center of Hawaii.

The book is written for women but she also makes it clear that men can benefit from it, too. The book uses everything from Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale "The Emperor Has No Clothes" to short stories from old Chinese mythology to draw a correlation to recovering from an eating disorder. So far there are no numbers used. In fact, it really isn't about the specifics, like "how to stop purging", but rather how to decipher what your REAL hunger is about & reclaim your power.

Based on what I've read so far, I would recommend it for all EDs & all stages of recovery. If you've already read it, & I know a lot of fish have, let us know what you thought of it.

Happy reading! :bounce :hairy

[reddecember]

I've actually been told to read this book by several people.....and for some reason just never did. Now I'm up for the challenge! Thanks for the suggestion, I'll go buy it today!

[AmyG]

:bowtie Wow, I have read so many ED books I could have my own library. I never read this one htough! So, it is meant to be! I'll go to Barnes and Noble later today and pick up a copy (It's about a block from my apartment).

I may just get a copy for a :fishy wonderful friend too!

:gromit

[Anais]

Looks like I'm going to Barnes & Noble tomorrow... :sarcasm I've heard a lot of great things about this book and can't wait to read it!

[frecklefacefishy]

I just recommended this book in a post in one of the other threads about ten minutes ago! Haha! Oh :hugon Kensington :hugoff great minds must think alike! :supergrin

[fetskoli]

Anita Johnston has a website, if anyone's interested:

http://www.dranitajohnston.com/

There's also her email address listed, but I do suggest having a very good, specific reason for using it out of respect for her professional position with probably not a lot of free time, etc. Not everyone who absolutely loves her book needs to email her to tell her so! :winky When I did email her after reading excerpts of a chapter in public I got a beautiful reply within a couple of days, and was impressed by her careful use of words, phrases etc. What I mean is that in reading her email it was clear to see that it came from the same source as the book, in that same descriptive language that was full of emotion, etc.

When I was reading it the first time, I was so intent on doing recovery the "right way" (there IS no such thing) that I took a journal and copied down every sentence from the book that began, "In order to recover from an eating disorder..." Back then I was blindly copying down the words, but had to let them sink in over time. The second time I read the book I got something totally different out of it, as I was further in recovery. There are no number weights in the book. The gist is taking multicultural tales and relating specific ideas and learning lessons from them. Yes, it's about eating and food, but then again, no it really isn't. :confused The chapters are rather short and the stories are very easy to read, catering to my short attention span! I hope everyone enjoys it! :bounce

[mommytofour]

I read this book when I was stuck in a rut with recovery. I think its great and highly recommend it. I still look back to it at times when I need a bit of help :digdeep . Can't wait til more :fishy 's get around to reading to discuss.

[The Becoming]

I have this book and it is awesome! It helped me to focus on connecting with my inner-knowing, my intuition and to find a sense of my self through this - connecting to that inner voice I guess. It also reinforced the notion that cravings for food when you are not physically hungry are symbolic of other hungers. It is a book that encourages compassion and kindness towards ourselves and our struggles while giving some real focus to things that truly help to give us strength. :yay

[danceintothelight]

That's so funny--I literally JUST got the book a day before you posted this. I haven't read it yet but it seems like a good read, so we'll see :)

[Seabiscuit]

Such a great book!!!

What a cool thread and book club!

Amy

[Levena]

Thanks Kensington :gimmehug

I shall check it out in my library tomorrow.

Cheers, lev

[lima]

I have read this book about four times! :grin.
I even have a signed copy from Anita Johnston herself.
Anita came for EDAW last year and I had the honour of attending two of her seminars.
She's absolutely amazing. And her seminars were amazing. I will post about the seminar later on today since I took about two pages worth of notes.

Don't worry there are no spoilers!!!

[Kensington]

I'm almost done with the book & I SOOO wish I had read this book years ago. It would have blown my mind to get a hold of these thoughts when I was just beginning recovery or before I even knew I had an ed.

[AmyG]

After mentioning that Barnes & Nonle is only one block from my apartment I mmust sound pretty lazy when i say that i actually bought it on line last night but...

:spinny Since, i have a B&N memebers card I got an on - line coupon for an extra discount yesterday. Hey, extra savings is always nice. So, I bought it on line plus, two other books. The only negative is now I can't start it ASAP. Although, i am reading ** other books now. Can't wait for it to arrive. :cheesy

:bunny

[fetskoli]

I feel like such a teacher here, LOL, but I really wanna know what everyone's favorite chapter was (or is so far) and why. :ear

I don't have the book handy, but I know it's around here somewhere. My favorite chapter was the one about the animals trying to remember the name of the Ungali tree, and it was the chapter that I shared aloud with others. I love Anita's explanation and how she relates it to EDs. I hope this isn't too much of a spoiler, but it really drives home the concept that EDs have little to do with the food itself, but more with using behaviors instead of working to find the true nature/name of your underlying issues and emotions. When you can identify by name what it is that you really want/need, then you can begin to heal and recover.

If you've gotten thru at least part of the book, what's YOUR favorite folktale and why? :ear

[jezzie]

Fishies :supergrin

I LOVE this book! :lubdub There are quite a few reasons:

:stars The metaphors she uses help see everything in a new "light" and perspective.
:stars More than just food is discussed in the book, she talk about sexuality, assertiveness, emotions/feelings, family, emotional and physical hunger etc.
:stars The way Anita writes, makes me want to be in recovery, without the e/d by my side.

One of my favorite parts of the book is when she uses the "swimming with a log" metaphor. (I don't have the book on me right now, because I lowned it to somebody), but it is about swimming along in life, and we hang onto the log(the eating disorder) to keep ourselves afloat, while friends, family and treatment team are telling us to let go of the log and we will be fine, that they will jump off into the water if we need help.

I think it is time for us all to let go of the log.:love

I'm sure I will have more to discuss when I get my copy back.

I suggest this book to anyone in recovery, recovered, or still in the e/d, it definetly helps!

:cute Jessica

[LittleIdabee]

This sounds like a read I'd really enjoy. I have read a lot of ED/recovery books but never this one. I'm deffinetly going to check it out - thank you Kensington for posting it! :gimmehug

[quietintuition]

:bowl Hello Fishies! :bowl

I have read this book twice. It is one of the few ED books that I am keeping for life. It is very inspirational... I have read a million books on bulimia and EDs... and this one is absolutely one of my favorite :stars :love :stars

:hairy I think you will really enjoy it :hairy

I also LOVE this book club idea. I actually just went online to look for more books ot read... now I can just go through threads and see what other fishies recommend :cheesy

[reddecember]

I bought this book on Saturday and really can't get into it. I feel like something is wrong with me b/c everyone seems to like it so much (even my friends in RT). I just finished the third chapter....does it get more interesting? Is the beginning just tough? Hmmm....maybe I'm just not at the right place in life to read it. Don't know. I absolutely love reading so I'll keep trucking on through......maybe it's the metaphors that screw me up? I have a hard time with metaphors and stuff. I'll try to get myself in the right frame of mind next time I sit down with it.

[Kensington]

The author explains each metaphor & story as it relates to an ed during the chapter. How about looking at the list of chapters & picking out things you think you would be most interested in reading & trying those?

[LoneMare]

I read it right after my IP stay and really don't remember much from it now. My emotions and concentration at the time were pretty volitile. My mother then asked to read it and I think she got more from it than I did! :gimmehug She's pretty terrific. :gimmehug

I'm going to have to ask her for it back so I can read it again.

Thanks for the reminder - I did get a lot from it but think I could get more now.

[keepkicking]

I just ordered this book yesterday, before I saw this. I should have it in a couple of days. I'm really excited about it now. Looks like a good book to start with.

[desiderata]

Reddecember, I have had this book for several years now. I started it sometime last year but could not get into it. I decided to try reading it again and have found myself to like it more. It could be due to whatever place you are in at that moment. I find there are times when I just can't get into a book at all even when I try.

One thing I really like about this author is her lack of labels. Instead of saying anorexic, bulimic, compulsive overeater, binge-eater, etc., she uses "disordered eating." There is such a spectrum these days that it is very hard to define what a specific person is nor should it matter.

dae

[Lavender Queen]

This was the very first ED book I ever read. I would HIGHLY recommend it to anyone. I felt like the author completely captured my own mindset. For the first time in my life, I realized I was not the only one out there with these thoughts and I felt a lot less alone. I highlighted much of the book and even sent it to my mother to read. I was recently thinking of re-reading it again. I am so glad that you have pointed out such an eloquent book! :spinny

[CMPmarie]

I just ordered the book and like **** other different ones. Thanks for all the feed back and opinions on it. I have never read a book dealing with ED of any sort and am looking fwd to getting started. Your insight has helped alot in deciding which ones to try.
Thanks! :winky

[Sylphlover]

My partner and I are going to start reading it tonight.. I so psyched!!

We do need to get some book, coffee, etc smilies as someone else suggested.. Don't ya think?

[Kensington]

:moon Who has now read the book or part of it?

:moon What are your thoughts?

:moon Would you recommend it to other fishies?

:moon What will you take away from having read this book?

[Kensington]

Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? :sarcasm

[Sylphlover]

Kensy:

I was trying to finish the book before I replied but..... I have to say my favorite part so far is the red herring story "food is not the issue." I know I have heard it so many times before regarding food is just the symptom the real issue is not the food. The red herring as Johnston writes describes something designed to confuse or divert attention from something else.

Now even if nobody has read the book I bet a :fishy in the :bowl could certainly relate to the red herring effect. The way Johnston wrote about how to understand the red herring and the food is not the issue is so :coolWho killed the old lady? Was it the maid, the butler, or the chauffeur? Everyone is so convinced it is the maid because of her being so suspicious but :wacky taa daa :wacky at the end of the story we all find out it is the butler. :surprise

But how could these intelligent people watching the mystery not figure out it was the butler? :cheshire Because as Johnston states everyone was too busy scrutinizing the maid. The maid is the red herring. She's the distractor. :zoinks :zoinks

:challenge What are everyone's thoughts on the red herring effect and how it relates to the eating disorder:challenge

[fetskoli]

What are everyone's thoughts on the red herring effect and how it relates to the eating disorder

:idea I'd like to see someone who has more time on their hands than I do type out that whole damn chapter and put it up here as a popup on the boards as required reading before posting. Remember that little popup window thingy that used to say "if all you're writing about is food and behaviors, erase it and write about your feelings" or something like that. Heck, even just a reminder "Food isn't (usually) the problem -- please tell us what your problem is!" would be a start. Not necessarily those words, but the idea, ya know?? :cheshire

[AmyG]

Kensington and all other wonderful :fishy's this is a fantastic book!

I am still reading it and am about half way through. I consider myself a book binger :happy which is not exactly a bad thing to binge on. I'm taking my time with this book. Im reading it leisurely on purpose. I have read so many eating disorder books over the years. Some have been great and have helped me and others have just added fuel to the fire.

I wish I read this years ago but Kensington I think you suggested it at just the right time. I'm at the place were I can really get it and learn from it. :shy Kensington thank you, for starting the book club of with Eating In The Light Of The Moon.

:moon Who has now read the book or part of it?
**** – I’m still in the process of reading the book and I’m enjoying the voyage. I’m currently about half way through. I admit I was hooked from the very beginning I found myself pulled in during the preface. When I pulled out a high lighter this early on I knew I was hooked. I saw myself as the little girl who didn’t fit into her family and sensed things were not right.

“They did not want to deal with her ultrasensitivity to emotional under currents, and at times they were threatened by her precociousness. Whenever she spoke the truth or questioned what was going on, she received a very clear message (often nonverbal) that this outspoken and questioning behavior was not okay and even dangerous to the stability of the family.”

Wow, I thought did Anita Johnston live with my family? I wasn’t the only little girl who was threatened when I cried, shook when my Dad yelled even if it wasn’t directed at me and people pleased in order to avoid the wrath of Stanley.

:ohboy If I got this much out of ** pages you can imagine what I have learned by chapter ************ - DREAMTIME. If I quoted from each chapter this post would put all you :fishy’s to sleep!

I do have a sticky note in chapter three – Revisioning The Self
:stars My highlighter went out of control and I figured hmm…? Maybe, this is a good chapter to discuss in therapy. I think there is a lot of great material in this book that I can discuss at greater length with my therapist


:moonWhat are your thoughts? The use of metaphors and story telling really seperates this from all the other eating disorder books that I have read and I've really read my fill. This isn't just another tell all story about symptoms. This has not triggered me once like so many books i have read. I haven't learned a new way or symptom to become sicker. This isn't about being the better anorexic or bulimic, this isn't about why one ED is better then the the other.

Through Anita's wisdom, metaphors and story telling i am learning so much more about who I am and how i came to be this way. This didn't happen over night. THe process began when In was a little girl. Now I have so much to undo and try to understand. There is also an awful lot for me to make peace with. After forty years it's hard to come to terms that I am not really damaged goods! :sad :mad :ugh

:moonWould you recommend it to other fishies?Absolutely, definitely, positively, without a doubt yes, yes, yes! :bounce:bounce:bounce:bounce

:moonWhat will you take away from having read this book?

:challenge I'm only at the half way point and I have come away with so much food for thought (Pardon the pun). LIke I have said I am high lighting, ready to use the knowledge in therapy and I am also putting key points in my journal.

I don't want to finish answering this question until I can do it justice. So, I want to complete the book first. I can guarantee that I will understand myself, what purpose my eating disorder serves and why I learned to turn to food, starving and hating my body in the first place. I hope I will be able to change and know that this is not the only way to cope, live or rather to NOT live!

:shy
Again, thank you Kensington!:bunny

[xixthesun]

I keep this book on my coffee table. I feel like it touches on almost every issue I deal with. It really empowers me when I take the time. I'm glad to see this post is pinned at the top of the forum.

[SpaceDogBugger]

I finally just got the book and started reading it. I love it so far. I love the analogy to the labrynth (sp?) and the first story about the moon...

So I can't say much now, but so far, a great read!:yay

[purplebfly]

I have started reading this book today and am already half way through it! she says some things that really make sense, that really hit home. I have in particular felt a strong connection with the log metaphor. I think this is a beautiful book.

[purplebfly]

Actually, you can read the log yourself here: http://www.dranitajohnston.com/ and clicking on Stories and then on The Log

I have stopped about half way as I want to let it sink in and tomorrow am going to go through it and highlight things that I want to talk to my therapist about.

One quote that stopped me dead in my tracks was:

"They did not want to deal with her ultrasensitivity to emotional under currents, and at times they were threatened by her precociousness. Whenever she spoke the truth or questioned what was going on, she received a very clear message (often nonverbal) that this outspoken and questioning behavior was not okay and even dangerous to the stability of the family"

and the need to try and avoid feelings and the loss of empowerment.

When I finish the book I will come back!

[Kensington]

Although a second book has now been selected, I hope anyone who reads this book &/or has comments or questions will continue to post on this thread. :happy

[Sylphlover]

Welp since I am still reading this and a bunch of other books I hope to still comment on this one soon. Can't just read one at a time. How typical is that? :muhaha

[Twisting]

I may have to check this book out, it looks interesting...just looked it up on Amazon and saw there was a **************** edition with the subheading 'helping women break free from compulsive overeating' - I guess she re-wrote parts of it to make it more applicable to EDs generally?

[keepsmiling]

Hi,
I am lagging behind on this book I know. I just could only read like a chapter or two at a time because it was so intense and thought provoking for me. It really caused me to look at things in such a new way, and currently I am still on the chapter the descent...which is what I feel is happening to me in reading this. It is like I starting to feel real feelings again and getting through these feelings is a challenge and quite intense. The feelings chapter prompted this.

I tend to push feelings in and avoid because I am fearful of what will happen if I let myself feel them. I think even though this is really hard, and sometimes I feel like I have to remind myself to take deep breaths and relax-- that it may help me push through some issues that have haunted me for awhile.

I also have started expressing more of how i feel and caring more about what I think about my relationships rather than what other people in my relationships think about me. Anyway, I think this book is full of wisdom, although, I am glad I am where I am in my life reading it right now. I think you have to be in the right space for this book. Well actually your probably get new messages from its wisdom each time you read it because so much of it is metaphorical. Anyway, thank you for recommending it because I have considered it a real blessing.

THANKS :yay

[Kensington]

:moon :moon :moon

[gracewillcome]

Thanks, Kensington!!! :)

[EmBem]

Who has now read the book or part of it?

Hi Kensington, Im really happy to have a chance to talk about this book. I read it and I think it is really special.

What are your thoughts?
I think this woman really understands eating disorders. I was amazed when I read the part about the eating disorder being like a log that you cling to in desparation to keep from drowning. I was always ashamed of my eating disorder and I was confused because it meant alot to me - it was me in some ways and I still struggle to believe that it is not me...so I read on with my eyes wide open when I discovered this calm view which acknowledged that the eating disorder was necessary at some stage in my life. I have often been ashamed of myself for returning to eating disorder behaviour but I feel a little better when I think of the idea of having to take it in stages - that you swim around the log and around the log and back to the log a few times before you go to the shore. It sounds so calm and sensible. I think the approach of using metaphors and stories helped me imagine what is possible and then it seems that your mind does the rest and suddenly I have new ideas about escaping or building a new sense of self. I feel involved in creating who I am without the eating disorder and I have new outlooks and some hopes.
Using metaphors takes away the judgement that I feel on myself for having an eating disorder and Im able to trace an action of accepting what I have done.


Would you recommend it to other fishies?
Definetely! In fact I think it is a book which anyone could read and benefit from it. I think it is also a great feminist text in terms of representations of women and the way it is written to a female audience.
What will you take away from having read this book?
I have a sense of acceptance of the choice that I made in relation to using eating disorder behaviour to cope with stress and the fact that I still do make those choices. There is less shame and I am able to think more clearly about what I do and how I handle situations because I am not so ashamed of myself.
I am curious about the idea of being sensitive and that being ok. I always thought my sensitivity was a problem I had to work on and hide. I will be going back to live with my family in a few weeks and I really need this books message to keep me believing in myself because I'm really scared of going back and losing the connection I feel have developed from reading this book and from doing posts in this website. My role at home is to be a bit of a clown and to look after everyone and be cheerful but living away has taught me how other parts of myself are ok too. :cry and I really dont want to lose that.
This book has made me feel that recovery and discovering a new way of being in the world is something I want to do. I felt that I became anorexic because I was a flawed person who was never going to be anything worthwhile and that I had ruined my chance to be anything good by still having problems with my self image and eating behaviour but this book offered the view that before you had an eating disorder you had good stuff in you and you can discover what is there and grow - that eating disorder could be part of your past in a valid way and that your future is your own unknown waiting for you AND I find myself wondering and eager to explore what my future will be.
I take a new respect and curiousity for imagination with me.
And I wonder how true the story about sovereignity is...Im trying out sovereignity as much as I can to see if it really is what women want!
__________________

[Kensington]

:sun :sun :sun

[edpinkgurl]

I loved that book. I found it helpful myself.

[Jennnifer]

Geezum Peets, I literally just started reading the book and am in the Preface and my mouth is hanging open about what I just read:

"...The common thread seemed to be a pervasive sense of not quite fitting in... as very young girls, these women were bright and gifted and had an exceptional ability to perceive subtle realities..... a girl who saw the invisible, who read between the lines, who sensed when things weren't right... she knew when someone was being insincere or dishonest....Her family... did not appreciate her gift... they did not want to deal with her ultrasensitivity to emotional undercurrents... she received a very clear message... that (her) behavior was not o.k...."

And how she had to "dim her light" and believe that she was the one in the wrong since no one else saw things the way she did.

[The Becoming]

Geezum Peets, I literally just started reading the book and am in the Preface and my mouth is hanging open about what I just read:

"...The common thread seemed to be a pervasive sense of not quite fitting in... as very young girls, these women were bright and gifted and had an exceptional ability to perceive subtle realities..... a girl who saw the invisible, who read between the lines, who sensed when things weren't right... she knew when someone was being insincere or dishonest....Her family... did not appreciate her gift... they did not want to deal with her ultrasensitivity to emotional undercurrents... she received a very clear message... that (her) behavior was not o.k...."

And how she had to "dim her light" and believe that she was the one in the wrong since no one else saw things the way she did

God yes! I actually shared that passage with my T because it struck such a chord with me.

I would say this book was part of a profound turn in perspective for me - especially around reclaiming intuition and femininity but also in understanding the context that made me so wired into where others were at and sensitised to whether they were open to me or withdrawn and rejecting - and how I strategised to find ways to get that love and approval and support I so needed. Unfortunately the "answer" I found led to ED.

I must say I still see the threads of this in my life - it is so helpful to read this again as it speaks to my current circumstances. So thanks:igotit

Enjoy Jennifer! (And share too if you wanna!)
The Becoming lubdub

[ForeverHopefulMuppet]

:hugon :fishy :hugoff

I know it's been ages since this thread was first put up but I was hoping that someone could help me out a bit. I'm really scared of reading any books relating to EDs because I'm terrified that they may trigger me. However I am in the process of making a little recovery/motivational library for myself. Was wondering if anyone has found this book triggering or thinks that it could be, I'm in a pretty good state of recovery so I'm being really careful not to 'rock by boat' so to speak.

:gimmehug :bowl
Muppy

[Kensington]

Muppet, this book doesn't get into a lot of specifics or numbers. It really is all about empowering yourself by reading fables & stories that the author then explains as they would relate to your ed. Of course, anyone can be triggered by something, but I would say this is a book that is very, very unlikely to trigger you. You can read just a chapter or two at a time & walk away with new ideas on how to think about your ed & fight it. I'd recommend at least giving it a shot.

[savvyupgirl]

:hugon Muppet :hugoff I agree with Kensy. This is actually one of the few ED books that didn't trigger me. It isn't about food. It's about YOU. Really interesting and one that you can take a little from and walk away from, then come back later.

[ForeverHopefulMuppet]

:hugon Thanks Kensy, Savvyupgirl :hugoff

Thanks for the reassurance :gimmehug, I think I will give it a shot because I really want to surround myself with lots of motivational stuff at the moment and this book does sound lovely. I let you know how I go :yay

:gimmehug
Muppy

[ms_d]

I must admit to loving this book and would have probably never known about it if it wasn't for this forum, so thank you!

I'd say that this book is the first book that I really connected with and really made me think positively about the road to recovery and feeling positive about being a woman.

I'm just starting recovery, and I find it helpful to read a chapter a day every morning.

[aworkinprogress]

I had a horrible day today, so I bought myself a hot chocolate and sat in Barnes & Noble reading sections of this book. Yes, there's some irony in the fact that I was reading about how not to self-medicate with food while drinking a hot chocolate, hehe. It wasn't a binge or anything though and it was nice having something warm and sweet in my stomach while it was raining outside. Anyhow, I digress...

Here's what I think of the book, soley based on having read a few sections of it while at B&N. At the very beginning she talks about how the line has overtaken the circle as "the" paradigm and how we need to reclaim the feminine values associated with the circle. Perhaps looking at the cyclical nature of time as opposed to seeing it as something linear/hierarchical...I think that way of looking at things sits well with me when it comes to where I am in the recovery process. Rather than viewing my temporary mistakes as steps "backward," I can just place those behaviors into a broader cyclical context and realize that I am still on my way. I keep winding round and round, but as I'm doing this, I'm getting closer to the center. To use another one of her ideas, I'm walking a labyrinth, as it were.

All of that being said, I didn't end up buying the book, because it was a little too heavy on the myths for my taste. I definitely still feel like I was able to take away something valuable from having read it though. She speaks of spiritual hunger, which I can't imagine is all that uncommon for books on eating disorders to address, but I appreciated the reminder tonight. It's what inspired me to buy another book at B&N tonight called "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramhansa Yogandanda. I think this book may fill me up for now...

[SleepToDreamFA]

The auther of this book is coming to town to give a workshop!! im so excited because its a really good book - only problem is it says its for a Professional Training Workshop (??) everything else is open to everyone - does this sound like its just for professionals? I would love to meet them. sigh.

[Millificent]

My guess is that it really is only meant for people already working in the ED field, not patients.

:dragon Millie

[Jennnifer]

I was also really touched by a part in the chapter on "intuition"

In my work with women struggling with disordered eating, it has become clear to me that this is exactly the kind of experiences these women have had repeatedly in their lives. They found that if they voiced concerns or shared perceptions that could not be validated by their five senses or logical thought processes, they were either punished, ridiculed, or accused of "trying to stir things up," of being reckless, or courting trouble, They were told in no uncertain terms that their reality was wrong."

And it goes on to say that these women were so wounded by this constant rejection that they pushed down intuition so far that it went silent and that they came to believe that they were "imagining things", "overreacting", "were too sensitive"... and they started to feel something was wrong with their core being (but they didn't know what) and so they distracted themselves with food, fat and dieting.

That chapter was so powerful to me.

[lovingspirit]

That chapter really got me too!

Isn't this the book that says our bodies are "sacred"? I loved reading that! My body is sacred! I need to treat it as such.

[Jennnifer]

:love LS :love I'm glad she used the word "ridiculed" because my mother was so nasty, "ridiculed" is probably one of my biggest issues. I think I felt very validated when I read that; as a child you're thinking "why is my mother making fun of me"... you know... it just didn't seem right. But as an adult (though it still hurts), it is easier to see that she either didnt' understand me or perhaps felt threatened by exactly how much truth *I* saw when she did her best to live in fantasy land.

It must be disconcerting to try and live a happy life in fantasy-land and have a child who is constantly calling you out on that.

[Kimmer-twenty-three]

This is an amazing book! It was recommended to me by several people. It's the only ED book I've ever read, but I'm very glad I did read it! I read a chapter each night for several nights...then I re-read it a few months later. I still have it, and I should probably flip through it again. Thanks for reminding me of this book!

[findtherainbow]

I am waiting for this to be delivered this week after looking at reviews here i went to the authors website and read a extract from it and it made me cry! the bit about the log so am looking foward to reading the book will leave a review once ive read it xx

[findtherainbow]

well my book arrived and i have finished it within three days! i have to say this has to be the best book on eating disorders/recovery i have ever read.

If you are thinking about reading it then def go buy it i have recommended it to all the other girls who I am currently in therapy with. I just found it was the kind of book that had the knack to 'hit the nail on the head'. It helped me to see my 'disordered eating'/anorexia in a different light and helped me to understand why i have the behaviours i have and be able to try to move foward in my recovery as what I am looking for emotionally will never be found or made better by starving myself or with other people binging/vomiting or overeating. With every chapter covering something else from recovery to assertiveness to 'time of the month' it covers just about everything and with snippets of stories throughout and little folktale and stories with under lying meanings helps you to see things in a different way. I really liked the way it ended with three women giving abit about their journey through recovery and now living free from an eating disorder. Well worth a read guys xxx

[scaredaboutrecovery]

this book was recommended to me in IOP and we even had a few groups focused on the metaphors used, it was an AWESOME book and i still read it from time to time.

[Millificent]

:balloons bump :balloons

[Alethea]

I am really glad this thread was bumped because I have been thinking about reading this for ages and ages, but stayed away from it because I feel like reading ed books just keeps me in the ed rather than helping me keep moving away from it - they seem to make it attractive again.

Can I ask - Does this book really motivate you to move forwards? I am really trying to break away from even thinking of myself as eating disordered - is it going to help me with that or is it going to encourage me to continue identifying myself as such?

And also, I looked at Anita Johnson's website, and she talks a lot about compulsive eating - is it mainly aimed at those with COE/BED or is it applicable to everyone?

[iwashere]

i haven't read all of it, but i think it can be applicable to everyone, mostly women sufferers. if you struggle with food and your body in general, she gives you a completely different perspective about it all. the other night i read a chapter about "domination v.s. dominion" and how, in a patriarcal society we've been taught to believe the only sort of power is a competitive kind, but there is a different sort of power within us which cannot be compared or rivaled against any other.

i think you ought to give it a shot, see what you think. it's pretty eye-opening.

:love Shannon (iwashere)

[Krystine]

Thank you for the bump of this thread.

I think it's valuable for any person with an ED...I have EDNOS and I am finding a lot of useful, deep (digging kinds of things) material. I wish I had started reading it earlier. Like another fishy said, it took me a while to get "into" it and I had it on my shelf for months. But now that I've started it, I am very glad I did.

[Millificent]

Can I ask - Does this book really motivate you to move forwards? I am really trying to break away from even thinking of myself as eating disordered - is it going to help me with that or is it going to encourage me to continue identifying myself as such?



It can motivate you if you choose to use it in that way. I think that's the only real answer I can give, because the motivation you seem to be seeking is the type that needs to come from within.

:dragon Millie

[Alethea]

I have bought this and began it last night. It is very different to how I expected. I think I am going to enjoy it and it is definitely a different 'take' on things, from what I have read so far. I am so logical and linear in my thinking - and Anita Johnson seems to be talking about the opposite...

:hugonMillie :hugoff

"the motivation you seem to be seeking is the type that needs to come from within."

This may be a question I have to answer myself, (I'm really not sure I can though) but how am I supposed to get that kind of internal motivation? It isn't about behaviours, it is about how I identify myself and self-perception. Do you think it just comes with the length of time you have spent in recovery?

[Millificent]

Alethea, I think you should start a thread on this topic on another board. You'll get more insight from other :fishy and it's getting a bit off-topic for this thread.

:dragon Millie

[Alethea]

I just wanted to say how glad I am that I decided to give this book a chance

It was exactly what I needed. I am only at the beginning, but so much of what Anita Johnson says about the balance between the 'feminine and masculine' qualities within ourselves, and how 'their masculine side is unrelentingly critical...towards the feminine side, consequently their lives are fillled with endless chores and endless lists...' (that's me!) and the chapter on the 'red herring' where she writes 'if you want to reach your dream, you must not waste much time chasing an illusion'...wow!

And the chapter on feelings - this has answered questions I have had for such a long time about coping with my feelings, and allowing myself to feel but recognising I still have responsibility for my actions

And when she says 'rather than searching for the essence of who they are and expressing it in their own unique voices, they allow others to define who they should be, what they should look like, what they should do, what they should want'...and the need to honour ones intuiton instead of devaluing it...

So basically, every single chapter I have read so far, has given me something to think about that I have been able to relate to my own life, and I know I need to go back and really read it and take it in and think how I can practically apply it...I am so logical and controlled about things, that this has really opened my eyes and it feels nice.

This is the first book I have ever read that in a clear way, doesn't give techniques to manage behaviour or correct thinking, but (I feel) goes right to the heart of what things are really about - the emotions and other 'issues'. The other nice thing is that I could give this to my friends who have never had an ed, and I bet they could get something from it also.

[Kensington]

:moon :moon :moon

[RunningShark]

I read a chapter here and there.

[Danette]

Okay, after a visit to Amazon.com the book is now on order. It does seem like a scary book to read but I guess any effective book is going to be.

[Kensington]

It didn't scare me. I found it liberating. Very "get in touch with your powerful yet graceful female strength".

[signedbyme]

I hope it is relevant to males too as many suffer from eating disorders.

[Kensington]

Yes, it is. It's valuable to people with an eating disorder, regardless of gender & regardless of which ed they have.

[emlm]

I just put in an order to buy this book at Barnes & Noble. I'm excited and hopeful- I'm a huge bookworm! My only concern is that it's a paperback. Only close friends and my bf know about my ED, and I live at home, so I'll have to figure that one out. Plus I'm going to Florida in a week and would love to bring it along (i.e.. bikini alllll week), but only half my friends know of my problem. Hmm what's a girl to do.

[Alethea]

Take it with you! You can always read it when you're alone...and it isn't a typical ed recovery book, anyone could benefit from reading it I think. It has helped me possibly more than any other ed book because it is all about balance and intuition - things which I think are very difficult for many of us with ed's to accept sometimes.

[Baredfeetandteeth]

So I just got this book, with a couple of others, and decided to start with it first, just because it looked the most interesting. It's the first ED recovery book I've read, unless you count, like...Nutrition text books in University (I dont) and I love it so far.

I'm about four chapters in and I'm trying to take my time with it. I'm finding the thoughts so empowering that it's hard to put it down, but I want to take my time and turn over as much of it as I can, instead of racing through it. It's got me viewing my behaviours as misguided attempts at self care, which is something my therapist once hinted at, which is hugely helpful in terms of my being forgiving with myself, and trying to figure out the exact needs I've met with them and what healthy alternatives might effectively take their place.

It's just a really simply written, helpful book that doesn't get too preachy...which is something I tend to fear when I step into the Self Help section of my local chapters. Excellent choice.

[Jennnifer]

Bump! I had to really look for this thread!

[EdNoMore]

Thank you Jennnifer!!!! I tried looking for this thread very recently as well, and the search function just absolutely wasn't cooperating. So, I really appreciate your digging it up.