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View Full Version : Think-n-Share Eleven: Anger & Bitterness


SFishy
06-21-2001, 04:10 PM
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Here is a quote...

<HR>

"There's a big difference between anger and bitterness. Anger is something we can express and get out of us. Bitterness is something we carry on our shoulders like a weight. Anger is something we can feel, express and get rid of while bitterness holds us back from moving forward."
Quote: ©Something Fishy; AMWhat does this quote mean to you? What does it make you think of?

your answers cannot have anything to do with further sinking into your eating disorder!

mattiegirl
06-27-2001, 03:49 AM
One time I went to my doctor for a session of Healing Touch which is a modality of energy work. I was very upset at the time and I was crying because someone insulted my size. As we were going through the session she said "You have a lot of bitterness inside of you because as I sit here I can taste it coming through you and into me" Then she started blowing it out and she explained that that was one way of releasing another person's bitterness. We were doing an exercise literally, but if you think about the sentences "Boy, that person is very bitter." and "She just blew me off." That's exactly what we were doing. I think it's interesting how concepts can travel between the virtual and the literal. This quote is so true of me. When I am angry I can express it and be done with it, but bitterness is anger left inside to rot.

starbrightstarlight
06-27-2001, 12:45 PM
This quote means to me that its ok to be :mad angry but it is not ok to be bitter. Being bitter and holding grudges does us no justice. We can get :reallymad angry but we should forgive the people/person who mad us angry. It may take a while, but being bitter will do us no good in the long run.

brwnEMT
06-27-2001, 12:46 PM
I used to say "I'm so angry," but now I know that really (gulp) it should be "I'm so bitter," as awful as that sounds, because the "anger" is something you can get rid of and forget, while you carry the "bitter" around with you, which I do a lot!
-brwnEMT

lilsweetie
12-19-2001, 09:24 AM
sounds like bitterness is something you carry around for a long time, and it is a heavy burden and troublesome. it sounds much worse than anger. it sounds like its almost biting. anger is just something that passes. hmm... makes you think! i like that quote.

RoseMoon
04-24-2003, 04:56 PM
I'm slowly recovering from anorexia. But with each day that goes by, I feel the bitterness overwhelming my mind. The short term anger transformed into long term bitterness. I'm angry for allowing anorexia to take over my life for the amount of time it did.

And now I'm bitter about being left with this mess. Bitterness is still lingering over my mind. I dont' know if or when it will ever disappear. Will I be bitter the rest of my life?

I only hope that this bitterness will go away so that I can finally move on completely. I don't want to be bitter about the anorexia, I want to view it as a closed chapter in my book of life. I lived it and I learned from it. Next chapter.

afallenangel
06-01-2003, 01:02 PM
"There's a big difference between anger and bitterness. Anger is something we can express and get out of us. Bitterness is something we carry on our shoulders like a weight. Anger is something we can feel, express and get rid of while bitterness holds us back from moving forward."



I have learned this the hard way. I use to hold unto a lot of bitterness and found the only person it was hurting myself, once I was able to let go of the bitteness a weight came off my shoulders and I felt free from the burden

KatherineK
10-23-2003, 12:53 PM
Getting angry :mad can be quite healing at times, but holding onto resentment, being bitter etc... just hurts you in the end.

xxxmizz lonixxx
11-04-2003, 12:18 AM
RoseMoon said:
I'm slowly recovering from anorexia. But with each day that goes by, I feel the bitterness overwhelming my mind. The short term anger transformed into long term bitterness. I'm angry for allowing anorexia to take over my life for the amount of time it did.

And now I'm bitter about being left with this mess. Bitterness is still lingering over my mind. I dont' know if or when it will ever disappear. Will I be bitter the rest of my life?

I only hope that this bitterness will go away so that I can finally move on completely. I don't want to be bitter about the anorexia, I want to view it as a closed chapter in my book of life. I lived it and I learned from it. Next chapter.

Jordi
11-05-2003, 05:25 PM
Honestly, this quote confuses me. It seems to assume that there is always a way to express our anger towards the person(s) we are angry at? But, what if this expression is not possible?

DreamingRecovery
12-01-2003, 10:33 AM
:drawblue Anger can be a healthy natural expression of our feelings that can be benefitial when used properly. We use anger as a tool to get what we want when we feel we have been treated unfairly.

:drawblue Bitterness on the otherhand is anger that is held in and not expressed. When we feel bitter we hold our feelings in. This does not solve any problems because their is no reaching out or communication, only inward stress on ourselves. We can also release this anger on other people who don't know whats going on and don't deserve it.

What does it make you think of?
:drawblue It makes me think of my bitterness towards my Dad. I feel like I cannot get upset with him or ever tell him my true feelings or he will kick me out of the house. I end up getting upset with my Mom and she has nothing to do with the situation. So basically my anger is displaced.

hollyg
04-18-2004, 08:57 AM
i read this and think: yep, i'm bitter. very bitter ... which makes me a little angry :cute ... i say this this though in light of the "weight". i've expressed my anger, both constructively and notsoconstructively and still feel that weight on my shoulders, which makes me think i'm carrying bitterness. obviously this is something i should drop, let go of.

the main source of my bitterness is my mom. she's an alcoholic and one of the many problems is: no matter how, when and in what form i present/share/express my anger, it makes no difference. there is nothing i can do to make her hear me ... nothing ... not until she decides she needs to do something about HER recovery ... so i'm left bitter, feeling unheard ... angry AT her and angry my anger doesn't get through to her ...

or bitter. she won't recover and i must. my recovery i can work ... not hers.

:slinky :slinky

SporadicSunset
04-28-2004, 11:08 AM
"There's a big difference between anger and bitterness. Anger is something we can express and get out of us. Bitterness is something we carry on our shoulders like a weight. Anger is something we can feel, express and get rid of while bitterness holds us back from moving forward."

i always thought that what i was holding onto was anger, but it makes sense that it is bitterness. i seem to have a wonderful memory when it comes to the negative stuff. (not so good w/ the positives) i will bring up bad things that happened years ago because they still hurt me. i don't know why i let the past hurt me. it's strange that i can let the past hurt me. i wish i could forgive and forget. i do forgive, but i do not forget. it does hold me back from moving forward. i think it's important for me not to let the past have so much power over me.

piecespiecesofme
07-31-2004, 10:32 PM
I agree with this quote. When im angry people know and i blow up Like today i was relly mad at my mom and i blew up at her yea she got mad but releasing your anger feels better b.c its out of you and in the open

but bittereness is just kept inside of you theirs nothing you can realy do wth it Bitterness just happens . Like when i found out people i thought were friends had told otehr people about my anorexia i was bitter b.c they told them and their was nothing i could really do cause i couldnt turn back time and bitterness held me back. b.c instead of concentrating on gettin better i was concentrating on who knew and finding out who told. I thnk that after a while bitterness does go away.

staryeye
09-26-2004, 03:23 AM
an emotion is an emotion, whether good or bad. its how we control that emotion that counts.

little secret
01-13-2005, 07:44 PM
It's easy to express my anger with some people. There are also people whom I'm afraid or uncomfortable with expressing my anger, for fear of hurting their feelings or the unexpected. :reallymad I've come a long way with expressing my anger to all people. I am now able to think rationally before exploding or not saying anything at all...most of the time. Anger is a feeling that lies on the surface and it's easier to brush it off.

Bitterness is a completely different story. In my opinion, it's easier to express anger about something that is not so close to your heart. But when it comes to something that throws your feelings onto a rollercoaster, your dealing with bitterness. Feeling bitter. Feeling discomfort. Feeling pain. Feeling displaced.

It saddens me to know that I am full of bitterness, and I have no idea how to let it go. I struggle every day to work on my recovery and have made profound steps! :happy I am so proud of how far I've taken my recovery. But I also struggle to believe if this bitterness will ever pass. So for now, I continue to deal with that surface anger stuff, and hope that some day, somehow, I'll be able to let go of my bitterness. When that day does come, my new life will begin.


luvs,
lil' secret :gimmehug

ninfected
01-25-2005, 06:07 AM
I am so happy I ran into this post, cuz this is something that's been bubling up in my mind lately, and i keep on pushing it away.
see, I my peronality, along with my anorexia, BPD, etc. makes it really hard for me to get into conflict, share my feelings and listen to the other person's point of view. but now that i have a great b/f, who challenges and helps me- i try very hard to do all those things.
but i still find myself swallowing a lot of it- just to end the discussion or because i feel i'm not worthy of expressing my feeling.
either way- for any number of reasons, i tend to keep a lot of hurt inside. and so i find myself still bitter about things that happened a while ago.
the problem is- i am so afraid of anger. both because of my bpd- (i get horrible tantrums) just afraid of my anger getting out of control and going into another episode. but also cuz i'm afraid of the other person getting angry at me- it always makes me crawl back into my little world. when someone screams at me it reminds me of my father- and i go back to being the scared little child i was- afraid to move a muscle.
i guess what i need to do (and i didn't realize until now) is to work on my fear of anger- cuz there's no reason for me to carry all this bitterness forever. i need to find a way to get mad without getting horrible episodes- and i need to learn that others will be mad at me- but they won't hurt me or stop loving me...

thanx for this!
:love,
ariane

Erasable Ink
03-27-2005, 11:09 AM
"There's a big difference between anger and bitterness. Anger is something we can express and get out of us. Bitterness is something we carry on our shoulders like a weight. Anger is something we can feel, express and get rid of while bitterness holds us back from moving forward."

The quote is right that anger is an active emotion and bitterness is a passive one. Anger can potentially motivate positive action, bitterness is a more private emotion that tends to isolate people. But for me, anger is not an emotion I can get rid of. I have no bitterness really. I'm not sad. I don't have a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe it is because my anger has not yet subsided that I am not bitter. I have so much anger--anger at friends and family for selfishly ignoring my problems and anger at the world at large for being insensitive and uncaring. The problem, as you see, is that my anger is directed so generally that I cannot effectively express it. That is when I express it against myself. My powerlessness to change the exterior world I live in has caused me to fight back against myself.

I am trying to learn not to do this. That I desserve better. That I am worth more than the outside world deems me to be worth. But my anger holds me back because I lash out at people and at myself when what I really want to do is reach out. But my embarrasement at my eating disorder and my fear of being discovered and being treated differently and of losing the battle I am fighting to recover prevents me from reaching out and so I lash out in anger to protect myself, but never reach the root of my anger and never tell anyone about my problems. I have been ignoring it for a long time, this anger. If I really want to get it better, maybe I should confront the few people I am really angry with and then I won't be so angry at the world.

CaliCat
04-02-2005, 11:28 PM
I have a lot of rage locke away but I guess it is just bitterness. Bitterness at myself for failing to be perfect, bitterness at my parents for failing the same thing, bitterness at the world for making things this way. I just want to be free of it all.

Calicat

DakotaNM
04-08-2005, 07:18 AM
I'm bitter because I'm so imperfect, and there's nothing I can seem to do to make it better.

I'm terrified of anger :kaoswoah

Dakota :sun †

newpage
06-05-2005, 07:57 AM
&quot;There's a big difference between anger and bitterness. Anger is something we can express and get out of us. Bitterness is something we carry on our shoulders like a weight. Anger is something we can feel, express and get rid of while bitterness holds us back from moving forward.&quot;
Quote: ©Something Fishy; AMWhat does this quote mean to you? What does it make you think of?

This makes me think of how I hide/deny my anger (even from myself) and then it builds to bitterness. It's ok to get angry, it doesn't mean that I have to share it with anyone, I can feel it myself. It's ok to get angry with what other people do...I don't always have to smile when I'm frustrated...that energy I use to please people should be reserved for taking care of myself. Let it out! :reallymad

MegaVictory
06-05-2005, 10:18 AM
Also, anger is depression turned inward?

This post was just what I needed to see today, as I contemplate my life, and who I am "mad" at, and who my daughter says she "hates," and with my husband is always blowing up lately, and how my dad used to be, "a person of integrity," who, if he didn't like you, couldn't be fake and pretend that he did, but another way of looking at it is, he just couldn't move past it. All of us, people with anger problems.

So, I guess my daughter is still somewhat free, still ahead of the game, if she can express what bothers her, get it out into the open about others, especially about her little, eighth grade, "yuppy" school mates, who are at that terrible age of buying into peer pressure, etc.

Or, the fact that I am aware of that one of my problems is a feeling of hate towards certain people. Mainly a couple family members (in-laws), and I am trying to make peace with it. Not jumping in with all fours when dealing with them, but to at least not buy into their junk, and treat them with respect, and be cordial.

As for my husband, my daughter and I try not to let his blowing up affect us (but it probably is, at least on an unconscious level). It's ironic. He is physically blind, and all I can think of is "there are none so blind as those who will not see."

MegaVictory
06-05-2005, 10:20 AM
No, or is depression anger turned inwards? Help with this question, please!

KJSR
06-05-2005, 01:15 PM
I think bitterness is like a yoke that binds us and controls us. It becomes the motivation for life and is the gauge we use to judge ourselves. The challenge becomes to change that which yokes us, binds us. Love? Acceptance? Even anger provides a motivation. But bitterness is a dead weight and convinces us that that's all we are, too.

MegaVictory
06-05-2005, 01:40 PM
Very poetic, inspirational answer. Hmmm, I will have to ponder this one.

newpage
08-22-2005, 06:16 AM
There's a big difference between anger and bitterness. Anger is something we can express and get out of us. Bitterness is something we carry on our shoulders like a weight. Anger is something we can feel, express and get rid of while bitterness holds us back from moving forward."[/b]
Quote: ©Something Fishy; AM[/list]What does this quote mean to you? What does it make you think of?

To me this means that if I choose to be bitter about last week, then I'll be miserable this week too! Try to remember that anger can be felt, expressed and then gotten rid of! I'm angry that I listened to complaining, ask for help with problems and then tell me why no help will work and a painful story.

Jezebel
09-06-2005, 10:46 PM
"There's a big difference between anger and bitterness. Anger is something we can express and get out of us. Bitterness is something we carry on our shoulders like a weight. Anger is something we can feel, express and get rid of while bitterness holds us back from moving forward."
Quote: ©Something Fishy; AM

This reminds me that although I am not very good at expressing my anger, I do eventually get over it. I put it in the past. I move forward. The only regret I have, which I would call bitterness, is about my basketball career. I never had the chance to play college ball like I had always dreamed of because of suffering fifteen stress fractures over five or so years...partly due to the eating disorder. I feel like I was robbed of something that was a huge part of my life. This bitterness is definitely holding me back from moving forward, as I constantly wonder "what if?" So in essence, I am keeping myself living in the past by wondering about what could have been instead of completely embracing the new opportunites that came my way because my career ended prematurely.

NoKatyDidnt
10-22-2005, 10:34 PM
"There's a big difference between anger and bitterness. Anger is something we can express and get out of us. Bitterness is something we carry on our shoulders like a weight. Anger is something we can feel, express and get rid of while bitterness holds us back from moving forward."

This definitely rings true for me. Growing up, I wasn't allowed to express anger, though I often was angry...That anger turned to bitterness, which is definitely weighing me down and holding me back.

lawgurl
12-23-2005, 01:36 AM
"There's a big difference between anger and bitterness. Anger is something we can express and get out of us. Bitterness is something we carry on our shoulders like a weight. Anger is something we can feel, express and get rid of while bitterness holds us back from moving forward."
Quote: ©Something Fishy; AM



What does this quote mean to you? What does it make you think of?

Difference between anger and bitterness - Anger can be express and dies eventually while bitterness stills and lingers makes u miserable bc it cant be express bc it takes hold of ur life.

Anger that is not express or let go turns into bitterness. The bitterness from all the anger held within holds u back from moving forward to a better life.

sofaraway
01-06-2006, 10:59 AM
I like this quote, to me it is saying that anger is okay, it's allright to feel angry about things that have happened, or towards other people. anger passes once expressed.
I have real problems with anger, feel that is wrong and i shouldn't feel that way. i think the problem is that I don't differentiate the the positive anger and the negative bitterness, i see them as the same and both wrong.

I hope to be able to express my anger better, and not turn it onto myself and punish myself for the feeling. I don't mean getting angry and confronting people every time. but being able to say "It made me angry that xyz happened"

Tiffy
10-02-2006, 07:45 PM
"There's a big difference between anger and bitterness. Anger is something we can express and get out of us. Bitterness is something we carry on our shoulders like a weight. Anger is something we can feel, express and get rid of while bitterness holds us back from moving forward."
Quote: ©Something Fishy; AM

Wow, this made me think a lot. I think I carry around a lot of anger AND bitterness. I think I feel anger toward my friends at times for not understanding what I'm going through, but I'm able to express that in a positive manner, and move on.

As far as bitterness, I feel that toward my father, and my abusers. I feel like it sometimes holds me back from moving on. I carry that on my shoulders and it feels like a heavy weight. I try so hard to move on and it's just so difficult, but someday I hope to work through this with lots of hard work, and therapy. I know it's just going going to take time and patience. I was hurt very badly. It took time for me to accept that fact and feel anything besides guilt so maybe I'm moving forward just a bit by feeling the bitterness?

:love -Tiffany

bubbleyfish
10-09-2006, 11:19 AM
if you can let go of anger, can you ever let go of bitterness? I try to not get angry but like everything else in life it happens. however bitterness i feel is something that creeps up on me. I will be sitting around and someone will say something and i will snap or get angry and realize it is a sour subject and i am holding on to stuff i did not know existed. i am bad at expressing anger, i usally get frustrated and cry, but i am not sure at all how to rid myself of my bitterness. I want to be a better person, and be more worthwhile to myself and soceity and my friends and people that need me, and soemtimes lately there is a little nilistic bitter monster inside fo me that is very cold towards others and i dont want to be that way. I want to express my anger and let go of my bittness so i can be sweet and not sour

savvyupgirl
12-02-2006, 10:14 AM
"There's a big difference between anger and bitterness. Anger is something we can express and get out of us. Bitterness is something we carry on our shoulders like a weight. Anger is something we can feel, express and get rid of while bitterness holds us back from moving forward."

This is really appropriate because my T and I have been discussing my fear of anger. I interpret this quote to mean that anger is not what I should fear. It is the anger that I allow to become bitterness and rage that should scare me. Anger is an appropriate emotion; bitterness is detrimental to my development. I need to remember than it is okay for me to be angry and to express that emotion. I am constantly being reminded how important and appropriate it is for me to FEEL.