gill prosser
10-08-2001, 01:11 PM
:love :bowl :love
I feel a bit decietful posting this here but it really is praying on my mind. I was starting to do much better with my eating and came off my tabs but i am now spiralling down fast because of my relationship and my inability to trust.
My husband loves me that is not in debate and I have grown to love him very much. The problem is half the women round here like him too although I know one hundred percent nothing has happened with any of them. BUT whenever I actually get the confidence to initiate intimacy he says he is too tired etc etc and i feel just so very rejected and blame it on me becoming too fat and unattractive for him. he says that he hates the fact that I don't trust him but it is because I think each and every woman we meet is 'better' than me then who can blame him for straying. when he does want to 'do it' then it's on his terms and i feel so used.
he did a make real effort yesterday to be sweet to me. He went to meet some friends and said he would come back for me in half an hour when the kids were settled with the baby sitter. He didn't come back so i had to walk to the pub on my own. he said he didn't come back because he didn't want to disturb the kids ! The problem is he was having a good time and didn't miss me at all.
How can i trust him, how can I learn to love myself. he is the best hubby anyone could have but i think I am pissing him off all the time and he's had enough. Why can't i be like all the other women, slim and attractive. I am not what you would call 'feminine' i would never wear a dress or anything that wasn't four sizess to big or didn't cover my arse and i know he likes feminine women but i can't it's just not me.
The person who I class as 'the love of my life' who i had lived with for eight years left me for someone else so I am just waiting for it to happen again.
Sorry for rambling but it feels like I am getting it off my chest a bit. Thanks for listening.
I feel a bit decietful posting this here but it really is praying on my mind. I was starting to do much better with my eating and came off my tabs but i am now spiralling down fast because of my relationship and my inability to trust.
My husband loves me that is not in debate and I have grown to love him very much. The problem is half the women round here like him too although I know one hundred percent nothing has happened with any of them. BUT whenever I actually get the confidence to initiate intimacy he says he is too tired etc etc and i feel just so very rejected and blame it on me becoming too fat and unattractive for him. he says that he hates the fact that I don't trust him but it is because I think each and every woman we meet is 'better' than me then who can blame him for straying. when he does want to 'do it' then it's on his terms and i feel so used.
he did a make real effort yesterday to be sweet to me. He went to meet some friends and said he would come back for me in half an hour when the kids were settled with the baby sitter. He didn't come back so i had to walk to the pub on my own. he said he didn't come back because he didn't want to disturb the kids ! The problem is he was having a good time and didn't miss me at all.
How can i trust him, how can I learn to love myself. he is the best hubby anyone could have but i think I am pissing him off all the time and he's had enough. Why can't i be like all the other women, slim and attractive. I am not what you would call 'feminine' i would never wear a dress or anything that wasn't four sizess to big or didn't cover my arse and i know he likes feminine women but i can't it's just not me.
The person who I class as 'the love of my life' who i had lived with for eight years left me for someone else so I am just waiting for it to happen again.
Sorry for rambling but it feels like I am getting it off my chest a bit. Thanks for listening.