D____'s Choice

[tbake]

Hi :bowl ,

I wrote this poem in February TwoThousandandFour, after one of my dearest friends in the world told me that I had to choose between our friendship (and therefore doing as she was begging me to do and going to see the ED specialist, even though I knew it would just land me back in the hosp) or continuing to be sick with my ED. I was really grateful to her for making me think in such stark terms because even though I wasn't able to say that I truly wanted to give up my ED, I knew that I was NOT willing to loose my friendship with her over it. Thanks to this friend, I was admitted to the hospital last year and was able to make a great deal of progress in many areas of my life. I am posting this poem now, because I have landed myself back in a similar spot and I wanted to remind myself of what recovery really comes down to. I would really love to hear your feedback/criticism/or just general comments. I hope that this is ok!


:flower :flower :flower :flower :flower

D_____’s Choice

I have to make a choice
Clarity versus confusion
Cartwheels versus cadavers
Celebration versus capitulation

I have to devote myself no matter
How troubled the path
How terrifying the process
How turbulent the progress

I have to face my demons
Usurp their power
Undo their damage
Update their applications

I have to accept help
Surrender my secrets
Solicit guidance
Secure my future

I have to declare my decision
Commit to recovery
Combat my urges
Cleave from my disease

I have to choose it though...

copyright **************** by Tierra Baker

:flower :flower :flower :flower :flower