clausquin
06-19-2005, 10:26 PM
:hugon :bowl :hugoff
I'd like to share a little about my recovery, it's nothing exceptional nor especial just a step to the big ocean of life...
I started when i was about twelve years old, my family was always pushing me about losing weight about being a perfect kid, a perfect woman, teenager or whatever u like. My mom always said that she'd like a small waist kid... So i began to go to a "dietician" it was like an awful one and she ushed along laxatives, diuretics and she always weighed me, daily. I was punished if i didnt lose weight so I :cryed when i didnt...
By the age of thirteen I was almost as thin as they wanted me too, everyone was happy about me and i started to get new friends at school (girls only one) because as i was fat they didnt were so "brave" to get along with me so know they give me the chance to know them so i began to be more friendly and to be beloved, that was nice but this keep me to the track. I began to be obsessed about weight, laxatives, throwing up, restricting (purgative anorexia), a lot of exercise. I began to receive the attention and love I was looking for so this encouragd me to keep up the "good work" trough anorexia, maybe knowing that i could die but i didnt really care.
When i get into high school (i was fifteen), everything got worse, i d lost aaaaaaaaaaaalllll the control over myself, i threw up everything i ate, if i tell u what i ate i was scary, i lost many many pounds so the school decided that if i didnt get help i couldnt stay at school. My perfeccionist family wouldnt get myself out of school so I started therapy. Being completely honest, at first I was playing there I wasnt really going to do anything for myself i really didnt care until i was threatened to be inpatient...
It wasnt a bad idea to be out of my house but not that way... so i started to be less resistant at therapy. My therapist saw me twice a week cause I was really bad (I was throwing up even bllod :trigger) Disgusting I know but I was in real danger so I started to binge and purge. I started with a severe bulimia. I was in more danger than ever, my mom :cryed cause she thought i was going to die. My friends were really worried about me, my teachers too and I began to feel afraid of dieing. So I started to do EVERYTHING my T said... and guess what in two years and a half I was really ok!!! MY T didnt get it. She told me she thought I was going to be in T for so much long time and that she was really worried but my attitude help the treatment. I decided to take the road and give one step at a time even if i was :sad or even :cry when i had to eat, it was worth it!!!
Don't think this is like magic, im not a magician hehhehehhe but I began to turn my attitude to one positive an dto let myself think that no matter which is the prob, the important thing is the attitude towards it. Viktor Frankl says that everyone has pains to deal with but u decide to suffer or not, the attitude u take towards everything is the way u make things.
I know how awful is to be inside of the tunnel, I now in practise and i theory... the road could be rough sometimes, some days are good some days are really bad and some days u want to quit. Don't worry just keep ur way and whenever u feel desperate, look behind the road and look what uve reached and give one step at a time it is real!!!!!!!! It exists and THERES A LIFE WITOUT ED!!!
There's a life:
:lubdub Full of love
:lubdub With healthy relationships
:lubdub Without food worries
:lubdub Full of happiness and sense of life
:lubdub Full of tools to deal with rough times (cause rough times are for ANYONE so the thing is the way u deal with)
:lubdub Full of trustable persons
:lubdub Just... a healthier life to live and keep learning cause learning and growing ups never ends up!!!
GO ON AND REMEMBER U CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:love and :kisses
clau
I'd like to share a little about my recovery, it's nothing exceptional nor especial just a step to the big ocean of life...
I started when i was about twelve years old, my family was always pushing me about losing weight about being a perfect kid, a perfect woman, teenager or whatever u like. My mom always said that she'd like a small waist kid... So i began to go to a "dietician" it was like an awful one and she ushed along laxatives, diuretics and she always weighed me, daily. I was punished if i didnt lose weight so I :cryed when i didnt...
By the age of thirteen I was almost as thin as they wanted me too, everyone was happy about me and i started to get new friends at school (girls only one) because as i was fat they didnt were so "brave" to get along with me so know they give me the chance to know them so i began to be more friendly and to be beloved, that was nice but this keep me to the track. I began to be obsessed about weight, laxatives, throwing up, restricting (purgative anorexia), a lot of exercise. I began to receive the attention and love I was looking for so this encouragd me to keep up the "good work" trough anorexia, maybe knowing that i could die but i didnt really care.
When i get into high school (i was fifteen), everything got worse, i d lost aaaaaaaaaaaalllll the control over myself, i threw up everything i ate, if i tell u what i ate i was scary, i lost many many pounds so the school decided that if i didnt get help i couldnt stay at school. My perfeccionist family wouldnt get myself out of school so I started therapy. Being completely honest, at first I was playing there I wasnt really going to do anything for myself i really didnt care until i was threatened to be inpatient...
It wasnt a bad idea to be out of my house but not that way... so i started to be less resistant at therapy. My therapist saw me twice a week cause I was really bad (I was throwing up even bllod :trigger) Disgusting I know but I was in real danger so I started to binge and purge. I started with a severe bulimia. I was in more danger than ever, my mom :cryed cause she thought i was going to die. My friends were really worried about me, my teachers too and I began to feel afraid of dieing. So I started to do EVERYTHING my T said... and guess what in two years and a half I was really ok!!! MY T didnt get it. She told me she thought I was going to be in T for so much long time and that she was really worried but my attitude help the treatment. I decided to take the road and give one step at a time even if i was :sad or even :cry when i had to eat, it was worth it!!!
Don't think this is like magic, im not a magician hehhehehhe but I began to turn my attitude to one positive an dto let myself think that no matter which is the prob, the important thing is the attitude towards it. Viktor Frankl says that everyone has pains to deal with but u decide to suffer or not, the attitude u take towards everything is the way u make things.
I know how awful is to be inside of the tunnel, I now in practise and i theory... the road could be rough sometimes, some days are good some days are really bad and some days u want to quit. Don't worry just keep ur way and whenever u feel desperate, look behind the road and look what uve reached and give one step at a time it is real!!!!!!!! It exists and THERES A LIFE WITOUT ED!!!
There's a life:
:lubdub Full of love
:lubdub With healthy relationships
:lubdub Without food worries
:lubdub Full of happiness and sense of life
:lubdub Full of tools to deal with rough times (cause rough times are for ANYONE so the thing is the way u deal with)
:lubdub Full of trustable persons
:lubdub Just... a healthier life to live and keep learning cause learning and growing ups never ends up!!!
GO ON AND REMEMBER U CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:love and :kisses
clau