On Being Gay (Plz Respond)

[Rayneonthemoon]

So I am in the process of applying to Mercy Ministries of America for residential treatment. They are a christian center, and a fellow :fishy told me that they treat homosexuality as something you can be converted away from. This makes me :reallymad

I have just accepted the fact that I am gay, and have even come out to a few people.
This is part of who I am, and I don't want to be told that it's not who I should be.

I am still going through with the application process, and am still looking forward to the opportunity to go to Mercy, but still this is an issue that rubs me the wrong way.

Any thoughts?
Love,

[Kaspa]

:hugon Rayneonthemoon :hugoff

I :ear you hon, this isomething that I myself have had difficulties with in the past. I grew up spending twelve years of my life in the Girl Guide Movement which is quite largely Christian based and that messed with my head when I began to realise that I had feelings for other women. :wacky

My sexuality is currently something that is causing me much strife at the moment cos I guess I just don't know any more!

I would still go for the referral, after all surely one of the bases of a Christian run organisation of this kind would be that they are non judgemental, I know in the past when I have worked alongside Christian run organisations in the mental health and substance misuse fields they have certtainly been this way.

Best of :clover with the referral.

Take care hon :gimmehug


:love


Kaspa


:bandwagon

[bohemian_delite]

:hugon :butterfly Jessica :butterfly :hugoff

Wow. I cant imagine how difficult this must be for you. Personally, it makes me seethe with anger :reallymad when so-called "christians" are intolerant of homosexuality... somehow, i cannot see a compassionate God castigating individuals for something they arguably have no control over... and whatever happened to "judge not lest ye be judged"??? :confused

And as for "treating" homosexuality... :ummm wasnt it back in, like, the seventies that the DSM took "homosexuality" out of their list of psychological diseases?? :confused (not that the DSM is the be-all-end-all, but in this case, i think they got it right) :yay

anyway, just wanting to offer you tons of :gimmehug s & support... I pray that you are able to find a pathway toward full recovery that accepts you for who you are -- an incredibly sweet, sensitive, caring individual who deserves nothing but the best

:peace :rainbow :kiss

[MegaVictory]

I agree, surely they wouldn' be Christian and in a healing profession, and be judgemental. BUT, when it gets down to the "nitty-gritty," when your application is done, and you are accepted, I would tell them how you feel and ask them if sexual orientation is gonna be a problem. Because if it is, you don't want to be there :gimmehug .

[MemorableBabyDolly]

go somewhere where they treat your ed, not your sexuality. your ed is the problem, not who you want to date

[ribbon]

go somewhere where they treat your ed, not your sexuality. your ed is the problem, not who you want to date
I agree. If your sexuality is an issue for THEM and not you, then it isn't the right place for you. Have you talked with anyone at the facility to see whether this one person's experience is indicative of the facility or if it was an isolated experience?

[Old Geezer]

Yep, go somewhere that they will treat you for the ED unless you want to be "saved" from your sexuality. I think they have already shown they will not be non-judgmental.

I would talk to the center and find out if this is truly their policy before even finishing the application. It may be just a view of one worker at the center and not an overall treatment philosophy. You do want to know before you go there if it will be accepting of you though. A big part of ED is learning to accept yourself and how can you do that if the people there don't accept you for who you are?

Good luck Jessica,

Geezer

[White Fairy]

Originally posted by MemorableBabyDolly

go somewhere where they treat your ed, not your sexuality. your ed is the problem, not who you want to date

I totally agree - Jessica :lubdub you are looking for treatment for your eating disorder - you do NOT need treatment for your sexual orientation, I am so sorry that in this day and age that some people are still this ignorant. :cry :mad

Love Siobhan xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :gimmehug :lubdub :gimmehug

[FlyGurl]

:rainbow Jessica :rainbow

I agree with what all the other :fishy are saying...I don't have anything else to add on just wanted to know your in my thoughts and I hope that this will work out for YOU...to help FIGHT your ED .... Keep us posted on what happens okay :ear

Take care of yourself and good :clover


Loads of :love and :gimmehug to you!!!

[SanFran]

I was reading just yesterday how rarely such treatments work, hench the APA recommended they stop being performed in nineteen ninetey, as they were doing more harm than good.

We each have an authentic self. If Mercy cannot honor that, then perhaps you should consider not honoring them with yor presence there.

Good luck, my friend. :angel

[Rayneonthemoon]

Thank you dear :fishy

I have not talked to them about this, I have my phone interview on the seventeenth, and will talk to them about it then... That makes me so nervous !!!

Thanks again guys, I appreciate all of your support and kind advice and words of wisdom and encouragement!

Love :lubdub

[david_chick]

Hi jessica!
I have read extensively about mercy ministrys... i am a huge fan and want to go just not ready to give up my ed yet.. anyway... I also know people who have been to the sydney home and have come away free from their ED. Yes they have vews on homosexuality, BUT there not out to bible bash you and there not going to tell you your wrong or un-godly or whatever... (at least i would be very surprised if they did!)... Mercy deffinatly has vews on homosexuality that girls can be set free from it... My sajestion to you is to keep an open mind and ask all your questions in your interview... What have you got to loose? My understanding of christianity is that there is NO CONDEMNATION in christ. :) He loves you and wants the best for you... and so do the mercy staff... All the best for your fone interview keep us posted...
I Care about you chicken!
with all my love
Davie chick

[olivia_change]

Heh. You should see "But I'm a Cheerleader" before you go, if you decide to go. Then if they do say anything to you about your sexuality you can snicker inwardly at their ignorance.
The movie is about a girl who has no idea she prefers girls but whose family ships her off to a so-called Christian treatment center for homosexuality because of her choice in music etc. It's only after they send her there she realizes she's a lesbian. Heh. It's a spoof of the whole idea of treating homosexuality and is utterly hilarious. Oh, and it has a great love story with a happy ending.

Honestly though, sexuality is an important part of who you are, and many people with EDs also have treatment issues that may have to do with sexuality. Be sure you feel safe and able to discuss any problem with them. You need to be able to trust the person you're working with to accept you, really accept you and not seek to change something that is fundamentally part of you.

Good Luck!

Olivia

[Feak]

Definately watch But I'm a Cheerleader! I LOVE that film, and I'd never even heard of it until a friend told me.

I'd be shakey about going, are there any other possibilities? Or is it possible that they just have to say that, and that the actual people there are not really like that? I'm glad that you're going to be talking to them before you go, hopefully that'll clear things up so you can decide.

:love Claire

[david_chick]

Hey fishies
I have seen that movie too and I can garantee that MERCY is not like that!! he he it was a good one tho :) I really don't think they would judge and wouldn't focus on sexuallity... but i don't know its your call.
let us know how your interview goes jessica!
Lots of Love!
Davie

[david_chick]

Hey Jessica :supergrin
I was just wondering how your interview for mercy ministrys went?? Are you still thinking of going? I downloaded the aplication form the other day I have been thinking of applying for a long time but im just not sure yet :)
I would love to hear how it went and what you think of mercy now you've talked to them :)
OK
lots of love :hairy
take care
Davie
:bandwagon

[shortstop]

surely they wouldn' be Christian and in a healing profession, and be judgemental.
I have to respectfully disagree with this one. I think it's a nice notion but not a realistic one.

Find out if it's true, and if it is and you're uncomfortable with that find another treatment option. If you're going inpatient and you're uncomfortable there it's not going to be a good situation for you...you need to be somewhere comfortable while inpatient.

[toni]

It depends on your sensitivity level.
Personally, I feel very uncomfortable around people even if they aren't outwardly saying-- but inwardly believe-- that I should burn in hell for loving another girl. I get "vibes"-- harmful, not-conducive-to-healing vibes.
Just be careful, especially if you're spending money and time someplace that could not do the job ************%

[justrightct]

i don't understand why homosexuality needs to be "treated"....

its just so sad that people can't just be themselves....
no wonder so many people have secrets and behaviours that keep them sick/trapped/self-destructive/numb...

yes, lots of people perhaps are a bit naive, afraid of anyone "venturing outside the box", unaccepting, closed minded, and perhaps secretly unhappy in the small world they've tried to create by conforming to expectations and others' opinions/convictions/fears/etc.

please, no matter what, LISTEN TO YOU.
(just be you, get help for your ED, because that is definately not you; not any of us. its the ED thats the prob- thats the parasite that is eating away our lives. and with it its next to impossible to listen to the REAL YOU inside. ok?)

(sorry, was this post kinda bitchy?) sorry, sorry sorry.

-me

[mini_bites]

ninety eight percent of the time those groups don't work and the two percent that does work - the people usually admit they were never gay to begin with. Don't let the intolerance from other people make you think you'll be able to turn "straight."

[macleetra]

I can't even imagine that you would go based on that information alone. If you had to hide being "female" or "black" or "white" or whatever else makes you who you are would you go?
Just because society doesn't always show acceptance doesn't mean you have to lower your own standards. :walkin
You might even keep your own sexuality private but inwardly you will know that there is a part of you that they cannot accept. :sleepy
Aren't you going there to try to learn acceptance in treatment? It just seems like such a contradiction. I would feel for you if you went, knowing that you were setting yourself up for a certain amount of pain.
If you are stronger than that . . .kudos to you, and good luck in whatever support you seek. :challenge

macleetra :bandwagon