New to this part of the fish bowl...

[vajra]

Hi...
I see some names I recognise and some I dont, so I thought I'd do a tiny intro so those who dont know me and I can get acquainted. :grin
I usually post on the A board, but have been known to also frequent a/b, a/b recovery, si and relationships forums. I decided to swim over here for a bit because I need to put some more focus on my serious esteem issues.:ugh
A small bit about me:
I am thirty one, a single mom of two boys, I am usually a student but am off right now to do iop, I identify as bi:rainbow, and am in a relationship with a beautiful man atm. I have been ed'd for more than twenty years and have been all over the board in that time - a, a/b, and even sometimes coe.
I have struggled with low self esteem for years. Now it is again becoming a huge issue. I am seriously insecure and jealous and beat myself up on a daily basis over a surprising number of rediculous things = the biggest one obviously my weight.:sad
Anyhoo...
Just wanted to say 'hey' cuz I think I'll be posting and reading over here a bit more for a while.:shy
I look forward to 'meeting' those of you whom I have not yet 'met'. :supergrin

[lovingspirit]

:hugon Vajra :hugoff

I know all about those dreaded self esteem issues and the lack of it. I'm trying so hard to just live day by day and not focus on the past or future. It's helping me a lot. Maybe it's something you should try (if you haven't already).

Weight and self esteem? That's a tough one. I always have to remember what I hear on these boards ---- THAT'S THE ED TALKING. You are NOT your body. You are, from what I just read, a caring mother, an open and honest person, a lover/friend and a student. You are wonderful human being with the stresses of everyday life. I'm always being told by a friend to "give yourself some grace." Treat yourself as if you were your best friend. Would you allow your best friend to think she was just her body? Nope, I think not.

Ok, so this post is as much for me as it was you but I hope it helps! :happy

[sflathinker]

Let me share a "secret" with you... The ed is fueled by low self esteem. Work on loving yourself, believing in yourself and accepting yourself and the urge to self destruct diminishes more rapidly than just working on eliminating ed behaviors.

[FlyGurl]

vajra

:yay for wanting to "recover" from this self-esteem problem...yeah I'm totally in the same boat with the whole feeling crappy stuff.

I really like this umm...board to...different "faces" and some the same "faces" I like em all!!

Your such a wonderful and caring person...your always giving out WONDERFUL advice and loving support to those who ask for it....keep that in your head...even if you think your not "good enough" you totally rock !!!!!! :hairy

We love you so much :lubdub

[trying_to_find_peace]

Let me share a "secret" with you... The ed is fueled by low self esteem. Work on loving yourself, believing in yourself and accepting yourself and the urge to self destruct diminishes more rapidly than just working on eliminating ed behaviors.

I think this is great advice, but lately I've felt that I've lost my way... While I know that I am not my body, who I am is tied up in every part of my being, including my personality, my likes and dislikes, my abilities and idiosyncracies, as well as my physical body. So part of loving myself means loving my body. And oftentimes I get caught within the twisted thinking of "well, if I do <XYZ> to my body, then I'll begin loving my body - and- be one step closer towards loving myself". XYZ being whatever eating disordered behavior I am engaging in, typically b/p or restricting.

I am trying to break out of the mindset, but it is very difficult, and there are times I can't seem to find my way out.

Self-love is probably the most difficult thing for me to grasp, to wrap my mind around. I just don't seem to get it sometimes. Although, perhaps at the moment, I am more pessimistic than I am normally...

:love,
Trying