Friends

[CrossCountryGirl]

I know most people with eds have problems with not depending on others enough but has anyone out there had problems with leaning on their friends too much. I had a close friend; that I depended on a lot but we went to colleges that are really far apart from each other and I feel lost and alone. Also I've had problems with friendships because I leaned too much on them and sometimes I feel like I'm on a lower level than the other person when I tell someone else my problems. Has anyone else out there experienced that?

[jadefox]

Oh, I can completely relate. I often feel like I'm taking too much from my relationships with people. I need other people's help so much sometimes that it seems like I'm always complaining to them. I worry that they'll see me as a whiner, or that they'll get tired of helping me, or that they'll feel used.

One thing to remember though is that having problems does NOT put you at a lower level than anyone else. Everyone has their problems, and sharing yours is healthy and normal. I'm sure your friends love you and want to help you with whatever you're going through. It's good to have people to talk to when you're feeling down, and you definately deserve their support. I find it more helpful sometimes to talk about my ED stuff here on these boards, though, because I am certain that everyone else has similar issues and I don't feel that they're better than me. Still, I would suggest that you keep talking to the people who care about you in person.

Love,

[GardenOfSimple]

:hugonCCG:hugoff
:hugonjadefox:hugoff...
i can TOTALLY relate...
i'm always feeling guilty for sharing my problems, like i'm a whiny little self-centered brat... and theres really nothing i can do/say to myself that helps me to believe otherwise, usually... but, i keep going to my friends and complaining to them about this that and the other thing... and keep feeling guilty and sometimes i only open up half-way and stuff just to not be a much of a "burden" to them... oh welll...
i just wanted to let you know that i agree w jadefox completely, too... even though its HARD to see for myself...
lotsa :love.......

[DeepCalm]

:hugon crosscountrygirl :hugoff

I have that problem too!!
I depend on the wrong people, tell all the wrong people my problems, and keep it all hidden from the right ones. I hardly have any friends anymoire because i'm to low. To depressed. No fun.

We all do it, you will find people who will be there and support you if you look hard enough :cheesy

[VerboseMermaid]

unfortunately, I'm from the other camp -- not depending on people enough. I'm skilled at showing anger (usually), but I never lean on people when I'm sad or in trouble, they never know how badly I'm hurting and they probably wouldn't believe me if one day I actually told them. Instead, I'm the one everyone else leans on... and I'm tired of it. I'm only human and my shoulders can't carry everyone else's burden.

[Soffis]

I am actually the opposite too... :sad
People that I have trusted in the past have hurt me, a lot :cry and know I just can't find the courage to trust people... :sad
I also never want to be a burden to other people, therefore if I don't have to tell, I will keep to myself... :sad
People don't come to me to talk very often either, most people that I know say that they are intimidated by me because I seem too "perfect" all the time... if they only knew... if they only knew the truth :cry.
I don't like me, not at all, not the way I am...

Take care.
:love ~Soffis

[GardenOfSimple]

now, anger is one thing i can't show to other ppl very easily... i just let that build up... well... kinda... i usually don't get angry... i just figure that its ME at fault and stuff along those lines...
and, i dunno... is it strange that i feel almost obligated to be the should to get cried on... well... i mean, i guess i like it... hmmm.... puts others needs way before mine, usually though... but i guess that ties in w the anger thing... hmmm.... kinda realizing things here... cool! :cool